we had enough.now get out of our minds.

2006-12-16T19:30:00.000+08:00

2006-06-07T19:22:00.000+08:00

i finally shall post again.haha.it's finally holidays.it's time for reflection about what has happened so far in this half a year.and i realised that i'm still having my split personalities.but now instead of having two split personalities.im having three.one is who i am in skul.trying to be someone im not.another is when im outside with my friends.and one more is at home.ah.dont know lar.i cant help it.but sometimes it causes me to flare up.sorry to those ppl whom i flare up at.alrighty.i got a new fone.so it's foto time x)

hmm.this is panda with my spects and st pat's tie.HAHAHA.super cute rite?

this is where we slept for our bball camp.yup.shared a room with fangyu.

whee.doesnt the bed look comfortable?heh.but the pillow's really hard :/

this is the bball court which sham PROMISED us we'll train in.in the end we trained in the outdoor court with the super hot sun =.=

the bballers sleeping before training.

the lizard! haha.found outside adinia's and ha's room.covered with blood and red ants.

this is whud it looks like thru the pin hole :D

the hornet in our class.or smth.it's super big.that's all i know.yup.

THE EYE! rachel and i killed it.haha.

what i drew in church.heh.

this is justin! haha.

daddy and me :)

panda in the LT.

haha.i keep disturbing jeff x)

panda pickin up the bowling ball.hohoho.still say he cant bowl.at least he knows how to hold the ball :))

chong ying with her SUPER bowling!

cy and i.

2006-05-22T18:52:00.000+08:00

hmm.finally exams are SO SO OVER! (:
and then it's my bday.yuppyupp.
mm.let's seee.

i PASSED my MA1102 x) at least i improved from last yr.yay!
budden i failed my MI.ohwells.i kinda expected.cause it's like.i seriously DONT understand what's goin on.even though im like listening to everything she say and stuff,but somehow i cant understand.im not made to be a philosopher(:

oh.we got our math paper on....thur?no wait.fri.yah.thur was the last paper.yup.then i went out with panda.haha.he came over to njc.and huiting saw him.she said his foto look better.haha.i think he has cat's eyes x)haha.anyways.we went to lot one.yuppyupp.and to the library again to read kiddy books (:

then fri gotr bak results blah blah.then i went out with clement.though i had to go home early and help my dad for funtasia.we went to plaza sing,eat n take neo.oh.we went to meet panda for about an hour.and i borrowed 10 from panda.haha.cause i was kinda rly broke le.met panda at city hall mrt and we went walk walk at toys r us too.yup.then clement n i went bak to plaza sing n blah blah b went home.heh.kinda lazy to type.

hmm.then it's sat.clement came over to help my parents move things.blah blah.funtasia.blah blah.then i went home, bathed n go meet panda at.....erhh....lemme think.oh.at bugis.i think.haha.then we walked around and i got panda(: now called dada as the name comes from aini.go ask her why this name.im too lazy to explain.then i went home at around 1130pm thanks to rachel.she dont know come at whud time.haha.oh.we had movie marathon.so called.we watch abit of ice age.then watched mr n mrs smith.n rachel went to slp after tat at arnd 2 plus.and i continued watching billy elliot.n slept around 4 plus.

woke up at 6 plus sneezin.hurhur.then we wanted to watch a morning movie.but i don think i can make it in time so we went to causeway pt instead.shopshop.the metro thing damn funny.ask rachel if u wna know.then i met weilong to get my bday present.oh.rachel's really sweet.when i went to the toilet, she bought a piece of cake with a candle on top(: THANKYOU rachel.i love you.

then i met panda and we went to watch over the hedge at cause way.yup.really nice.haha.i brought dada along too.wheee.then we went to novena sq and walked about for awhile bfre i go to orchard n meet the bballers for bbq.

blahblahblah.we went to adinia's house which is three stories n had a lift in it n a pent house.blahblah.kinda okay laa.haha.anyways.will stop here.yup.

if i only i can tell the future.
i just want to have your heart.
no matter how hare i try to win your heart.
i can never get the full thing.
like whud charmaine said.we stared as really good friens.
i hope that whudever happens,i wna be in ur heart always.
and u, will always be in mine.i love you.

2006-05-14T19:15:00.000+08:00

im sorry...

hmm.rafidah, dont think so much.do blog also.i want u to keep my updated on whud's happening keh? i love you (: hearts.

2006-05-10T20:20:00.000+08:00

9 May 2006, the day i noe him...he seems a gentleman....i don't know whether to believe its true or not but talking n smsing make me realise:

1. he hate to busted his gal( if he haf any)
2. he don't go for looks and he's ok with my size
3. he's romantic
4. he's loving
5. he also noes how to make me smile and laugh...(bonus)

SO, should i or should i not be happy? Sometimes it makes me wonder why everytime i lost one, another one will come....But still by the end of the day, i'll be ditch again n i wonder y....hmmmm

OR this is what my life should be, having one after another who loves me but never will last long...

ORhe wants me to improve and proved myself that loving someone is not merely by saying 'i love you' but what we do for ur mate and our care n concern....
*I HOPE THIS IS THE REASON

Still I want to get to konw him more and see how he's like...what do you think????pls give me some help!!!!

freShly From: FIdah....

2006-05-10T14:20:00.000+08:00

funny how history repeats itself.
first sean.
then zac.
and now him.
irony : all of them are st pats guys.and i hate st pat's guys.

wonder when am i gonna listen to justin and stop falling for st pat's guys.
what justin said is correct.
st pats guys arent worth it.
but i just cant seem to heed his advice.im such a fool.

hmm.but i dont know.it's been way long since i liked someone so much.
i dont want to give up on this relationship you know?
unless you really want to.i dont want to give you pressure.
i love you(:

and i've already taken down all the hurting posts.
as in, i dont want to create anymore trouble.it really sucks.
lookin at the fotos we took together and looking at how we are now.

2006-05-10T13:04:00.000+08:00

alrite.im finally uploading some pics. hope it does bring bak memories to some of us.i dont wish for us to split.im serious about it.i dont wanna go around hurting other people.but im not gonna do it to the expense of i getting hurt myself AGAIN.im sorry.
hmm.these pictures are not acording to dates or anythin ya?

TingZhi and I at the SCGS choir concert at VCH.

parts of the musical

Rachel and I at SCGS choir concert.

the four of us.im sorry keh? ): but i just cant help it.

this is clement before he had his make over by tingzhi and rachel.

this is after his make over.HMMM.

this is on rachel's birthday outside mph i think.we were competing to see who acted the best.this is a scene in which we just received a cute little puppy(: and i won.

that's me.ong.im so in love with myself.i was so cute can?mmm.im still cute now anyway LOL.

that's charmaine and i before out match against YJC.yupp.we won them.

okeh.first alex doesn't want his photo to be taken :/

next, he poses for this photo.HAHA x)

the whole bball team of 2006 (:

EEE! aini's kissing me.haha.

clement and i after the match with yishun.on the way home.

foursome again.i wish it remained that way.isit possible?

felicia and i.HEY jia you for ur comps.do me proud :D

Rachel and i at sentosa (:

alright.this is how panda looks like.he looks damn eurasian can?dont contradict me <3 ((:

2006-05-10T12:54:00.000+08:00

sheesh.i just kinda read ur post or smth.and stuff u tagged.

i hurt u again?
well u never tell me?
and i dont know?
and whuds more.i din really talked much to you.
how did i hurt you?

hmm.or maybe it's not me.i dont know.
you gotta tell me.
then i'll know.
that's how things work.

2006-05-10T12:05:00.000+08:00

mmm.let's seeeeee.ohwells.big panda's exams end today.think he's having too much fun to eevn bother replying me or smth.ahh.wth.

seriously i can never tell when guys are really serious in a relationship or not.i always get mixed up.hmm.mayb the guy was really serious but i always dont bother n just let him go.budden when i really fall for a guy, he always turn out to be not serious.ironic isn't it?
oh wells.whudever.like whud i told denise,i've got my exams to counter now.think for the time being i'll just keep my mind away from guys.n just hope i dont lose big panda.considering that somehow we got colde since ytd or smth.

alrite.will just post about whud hpn on mon.umm.we went for our lasst match against ajc.and i seriously think that the refrees are really damn bias to the sponsering schools or smth.it's like wth? aj ppl were like pulling shirts,hitting people,and even poking fang yu n xinni in the eye.and do the refree call for foul? uh uh.no way.damn ass laa.they think jersey no need money arh.kept pulling like siao.made us lost like mad too.51-3 i think? with ying ying top scorer.scored 1 pont free throw and 2 points shot.hmm.and its seriously damn unfair.once u get the ball,2 of them come pouncing at you and just snatch it away.even if they hit your hand.even if the refree was just RIGHT IN FRONT WATCHING.damn refrees should shoot themselves in the head.i think students make better refrees.they only like foul them once?while foul us dozen of times.giving them loads of free throws laa.sheesh.i think its like so darn unfair.and whuds more.winghan was not playin cause she nearly fainted in the morning and kirana couldnt play cause she had netball tournament also.raas.

anyways.after the match i was suppose to meet papa.budden cause im meeting panda and so i cancelled meeting papa.then he blew up and stuff.saying im giving him false hope in meeting up.sheesh.then now papa and i are hardly talking.hmm.so i went to meet panda and we saw charmaine n hongming.haa.i think i really agree now that hongming is damn blur.mm.we went to bugis to eat kfc.haha.i force panda to eat.but well.he din finish his food anyway and he kept his popcorn chicken in my bag.hur.then we went walking around bugis junction then went to bugis street then bak to bugis junction again and then we went to the national library.

OHOHOH.we saw this really cute panda toy at bugis junction.cant rmb which shop.but it was so damn cute.omg.haa.anyways we went to d national library n just sat there till around 7plus? then we walked bak to d mrt.yeppyepp.HAHA.i win the bet x)
hmm.but even bfre the match,was already sick.mayb it got worse cause i din sleep for the whole sunday night.was up revsing my bio.din even sleep for 5 mins.then at 5.30 i just went to bathe n get ready for skul.pro rite?haa.and i went to match kinda really sick.got worse after eating kfc and goin to aircon places.was kinda shivering in the library laa.cause it's really really cold.brrr.

anyways.after that when i was on the way home, i called my mum n told her i need to go to the docs.cause i was feeling really really sick.ya.so i got 2days mc.n i wonder when im goin to take my napfa.hur.damn sad.i dont want to be sick.cause now my mum wants me to quit bball.she said ever since i joined,i keep getting sick loads of times.kinde true.but i cant help it whud.tsk.no way im gonna quit bball.thats kinda like taking my life away.uh uh.shakes head.

bball = my life
quit bball = no life.

haa.oh.then tuesday clement came over and brought me my ws and i passed him stuff to bring to skul.mmm.he din really COME OVER.i had to walk to d mrt station to get from him.in case his mum finds out again.bleh.was damn long walk laa.and im still so sick.i nearly died.ohwells.

okeh.then it's bak to tuesday nite.mm.ohohoh.baby arnold called me.cause he said he was bored.and shit.i din know my card din have enuff money so no free incoming call then now my card no money.hmm.gotta go buy later when i meet clement.ya.or else i wont be able to receive any msges.yup.baby arnold's simply so ego laa.sayin he's like so hot and shuai4 and that if i see him i'll go so madly in love with him.gawd.that's the most ricidulous thing i've ever heard.hmm.i think i'll upload some pictures onto this blog.anyways.just a few lame things baby told me.

what is d most recent fashion trend among handphone producers these days?
to colour their teeth blue. BLUE TOOTH.

what is the quietest animal?
puppies.HUSH puppies.

wonderin how come i got such a baby.tsk.

2006-05-07T23:07:00.000+08:00

clement and i broke up already.dont ask why.dont ask how.
he's asking me to make a decision by tmr morning.
wth.
just let me go die or smth.
i hate making decisions.
you wanna leave then leave.
stop bothering me.
it's like you have this really deep cut and you just want it to heal.
but someone keeps putting salt water on it or hitting it to make it bleed again.
get what i mean? i think im happy with big panda.
dont force me to slash.
otherwise you helpe me supply someone with two years of free papaya.

2006-05-06T16:43:00.000+08:00

hmm.i'll just post about yesterday. well we lost the match.rather badly.but main players wer down with flu.then sham n coach weren't there.instead it was some guy who i think is sham's coach who came n coach us.he din give enuff subs. shrugs.

oh oh oh.big panda came and fetch me after the match.haa.cause when i was near the mrt station then he said that he was goin to cheers for awhile.so i walked to cheers but nobody there.then i called him while walking bak to the mrt station the he told me he was walking to the mrt station and i told him that i was at cheers trying to find him.then i'm walking bak to the mrt station.budden he said he was walking bak to cheers when im walking to the mrt station.haa.know why we din meet? cause we wer walking at two diff sides of the station.he was walking on the left and i was walking on the right.then cannot see each other.wahahaha.then we FINALLY met and he carried my shoebag :D heh. and i got strawberry hello panda.cause he couldnt find any choc.

hmm.then we took the train down to kembangan.then i saw that he had this tube of somthin in his pocket but he refuse to let me see.grrs.hmm.we walked to some pavillion.raah.HE INVADED MY BAG AND WALLET!! i thought only gal's will search guy's stuff but he started searching my stuff.all the better.i sat at the pavillion and emptied my bag.had lots of rubbish.toothpicks from the fish project.chewing gum ki gave me on vday (jeff nearly ate it.haa.i din tell him it was melted n spoilt).and i dont know what else.heheh.i wanted to do my hw but i gave up halfway.cause i dont have my bio notes.so we went to the playground and play.

jeff's more childish then me i realised.cause there was this thing where you stand on top and turn n turn n turn.clever people will stop after 2 small rounds.but he just kept turning n turning n turning until he got really giddy n jumped off that thing.haa.it was really funny.then we went to play with the swings.and of course he did more dumb stuff.hmm.he stared to swing really high cause i told him that i had a frien who nearly swing 360 degrees but she flew off instead.then dont know why he swing until really high then he jump off.the mum n maid there were staring at him.heh.then he dirtied his pants.but it looks nice.looks like someone drew graffitti on it.hmm.the he went bak to the swing and start turning and coiling.AND I HELPED HIM TURN MORE.heez.then he started spinning and trust me.he got really sick after that that he din want to get off the swing until later.

hmm.his biker friends also came.yup.somehow.jeff told me today that they know my name.shrugs.im hungry.he made me tired and hungry.haa.then we just walked down the dont know what is it called connector to ecp.budden stop and sat down.then this werid guy called me saying his andy's friend and wanted to be friends with me.wth.oh.then i bit jeff's shoulder.cause i was seriously hungry.heh.

after that we walked all the way bak and he carried my bag while i carried my shoebag.haa.JEFFREY refused to send me home.grrs.said by the time he goes bak home will be 8plus and he dont want.but anyway.he's coming to the west after my exams to find me.so ya.and he promised he'll fetch me home next time(:

yawns.clement's mum checked on his card again.wth.he's already 17 goin to 18 leh.why she still wanna control him so tightly?it's like.overprotective? oh.then clement got slapped.and he locked himself in the room for the whole night without eating dinner.and seriously.i dont think it's possible between us anymore.he doesnt even bother to reply or pick up the fone when i kept calling him the whole nite.ass.waste my money.i mean.he made me worried sick the whole nite.idiot laa.i seriously dont know what to say to him already.think i'll just break the necklace apart n throw it away.and burn all his letters or smth.

2006-05-03T21:07:00.000+08:00

yawns.being forced my lynette and grace to write so i shall update.
hmm.
its been around 3 months since i last updated?hee.
sorry ppl.been really busy with training n everythin.

keh.shall just type abt today.we had match against VJC.well lots of ppl are sick so we played quite badly and we lost.but it was a strong fight though(: then after the match, i went with maybellene (dont know how to spell her name) to the east.cause i was suppose to meet big panda at first.budden he pang seh me.so i might as well go have lunch with grace instead.

AND GRACE MADE ME CALL HER FOR MORE THAN HALF AN HOUR AND WASTE SO MANY SMSES WITHOUT GETTING A RESPONSE.until my card nearly no money.n my phone nealy went dead.bleh.AND GRACE ONG MADE ME SACRIFICE MY BLOOD TO AROUND 5 MOSQUITOES OF VJC!!!!wth.i killed 2 on my leg.hur.

then we went to kfc near siglap center to eat.yupp.and we talked about how life was in the 2 JCs.seems that VJC is actually quite fun.wish i went there instead.bleh.hmm.oh then we ate, talk, walk. and somehow we reached lynette's house n wer screaming for her outside her house.damn funny.then she screamed form inside 'WHAT?!' fierce sia.then i stayed at her house n watch cartoon while they wer talking i dont know whud.wasnt paying attention.

after powerpuff girls, we went to the park.and played dwings.its damn long since i sat on the swing laa.its a nice feeling.yupp.then i realised big panda lives the same street as grace n lynette.

cause lynette is 23, grace is 19 and big panda is 16.
hur.damn close.
i was asking, hmm.where is so-and-so street?
then one of them said, it's the street where we are living laa!

wah.i got a shock laa.then i went to see big panda's house.but pity he is at tuition.hmm.he's got many bikes and a pond in his house.haa.farnie.

LYNETTE! it's not 3 stops.it's more than that.i got off somewhere by myself and walked all the way to the mrt laa.lucky i walked to kyna's house bfre so i knw how to go.yup.ooh.i love the big big houses :D

now waiting for big panda to come online.im so bored.gotta win in friday's match.YEPP!!!!
awww.i love big panda.he's just so cute (:

lil panda <3>

2006-01-14T15:33:00.000+08:00

dance party rly rocked.it was so much like disco dancing.wer dancing lyk mad.mi n shujen wer seriously so tired aft all d dancing.haa.it really rocked laa.poor clement had his spects broken by lynh thn he couldnt dance cause he is kinda blur.hai.n he kinda went home rly late or smth.shrugs.i only reached home lyk 11plus.n slept past midnyt.yepp.but everyone had fun.rly fun.danced and danced and danced.hmm.mayb i shld rly go with adeline go pubbing.shrugs.

i just went with yijia just now.and we got some alchohol.raas.i gt 2 bottles while she drank one already.havent touched mine yet.haa.hers was DNA.n it tasted kinda funny.i think i preferred d one i drank at d countdwn.tat tasted nicer.haa.ohwell.wanna go play bb.bored :/

hmm.i'm rly SO tired.hai.everyones getting so so busy.yup.its so hard to find time for everythin.yuh.guess i rly have to mug rly hard.CANT LOSE TO EUGENE! HE IS MUGGING LYK HELL LAA.aiyoh.and i dont know whud cca i want.raas.yes i am in bb.but i was thinking of other ccas too.see first i guess.

oh btw 06IP06 ppl.go photobucket if u wan d fotos.
username: ip06forever
password: eieio
(: others with fotos upload to this accnt too yuh?

love 06.love d ogls too.thanks fr helping us along d way(:

2006-01-10T10:34:00.000+08:00

hmm.skul started already.yupp.been kinda fun.06IP06 simply rocks.uhhuh.i still get to see clement.yup.we go to skul tgt.meet up during skul hours sometimes and go home tgt aft trainings.yup.we kinda had a REALLY BIG quarrel on thur.but everything was okeh aft tat.

actually.if he din come lookin for mi in d library on thur and had everything settled,i think i might be backwith zac now.shrugs.zac seems rly down these few days.just hope he is okeh.ohwell.his ego pulls him down.clement has kinda big ego too.bleh.

HONGJIAYI I DIDNT KNOW THAT HONG DEYAO IS YOUR BRO!!!!!
wth.i feel so stupid.anyway he was nice to talk to.wahahaha.kinda fun.trust me.his eng is much more perfect thn urs((:gagas.nehmind.

we went to KAP last nyt.WE ref to d bballers.alex,clement,chin pei,winghan and hongtuck.yupp.
it was damn crowded at kap laa.cause njc green house wer there i think.tats why i went talking to de yao.blehs.and i was talking to kai siang also(: i just realised tat kai siang is a rly nice person to talk to.yup.thinking of asking him to b my kor kor or smth.yay.haa.

clement had an upset stomach or smth.vomitted 3 times and had dirreah(hwevr u spell tat) once.thn he felt bttr.but nowhe is not rly replying mi or smth.idk if he's ignoring mi or smth.or is he sleeping.shrugs.he kinda was jealous ytd.I DONT KNOW.i was crying the whole of last nyt.cause i dont know whud to do.as in.i dotn even know my own emotions.to be rly honest.i cant even trust clement and i feel so fuking useless cause its so unfair to him.and i'm lyk.giving up on myself now.not on him.but myself.ahhh.dontknow.just feel lyk shooting bb now.keep shooting n shootin.i feel hopeless can?

i guess i was rly rite.relationship ruins mi laa.wth.
fuk.hate myself.

2006-01-02T21:08:00.000+08:00

nooo~

skul's starting.and clement's having training tmr)):
hai.i no mood.clement slept at 8pm :/

we talked ovr d fone for d last tm last nyt.talked frm 11.30pm to 5.30am.ya.
argghh.i love clement.cant bear to lose him.

2006-01-01T13:58:00.000+08:00

yay.i only had 4hours of sleep.wahahaha.ytd's countdown was kinda boring.cause firstly the cc din provide sprays anymore.so its no fun.ohwells.

CLEMENT cheat me.wth.cause i had dinner somewhere else and was in d taxi gna go cc laa.thn i told clement to wait fr mi at d mrt station.so i had to rush frm cc to mrt station cause i feel bad making him wait.and when i reach there i realised he DOES knw how to go to d cc =.= wth.cheat me de.haa.thn we went to find yi jia.

cause she is a lazy pig who refuses to go.in d end she went laa.we just keep walking abt lor.lots of ppl wer playing bb knw?oh yuh.i did drank abit during countdown.yup.cause we went to 7-11 to get some alchohol.ya.but we werent drunk laa.we saw hazim sitting at d cc and he WAS drunk.as in REALLY drunk.he kept tugging at my hand to ask mi to get him more to drink.aaah.sry clement.din purposely mk u jealous de: /

haa.thn yi jia went with hazim n his frien to go gt more drinks while clement and i went to d playgrnd.stpd ben kp disturbing us whn we wer talking.hai.its gna b d last time we can go out tgt so late and so long laa:(but clement rly reassured mi alot.thanks dar((:hmm.he even told his mum that he had a gf already.haa.tats smth i can nvr do.hohoho.ohwell.he sent mi hm at arnd 12.45.yuh.yi jia might have been a bit drunk cause she wished clement merry x'mas o.o

hmm.thn clement wnt home and called mi.yup.and we talked frm 1am to arnd 4.30am or smth.yup.he's sleeping now.my little piggy.wahahaha.laters he's gna call again whn he wakes up.cause once skul reopen,we will hardly have time to talk to each othr already.he has nationals thn aft tat gta study for his A levels)):ohwells.i just hope he rly jiayou :D

clement is a pig but he is guai.
he din drink knw?haa.

2005-12-31T07:55:00.000+08:00

yepp yepp.bttr blog now bfre skul reopen.or else i will have no time once skul reopen le :/
yanws.for once i slept REALLY early.slept at arnd 11 lyk tat.cause actually clement and i wer talking.thn i could tell he was really really tired.haa.he's been rly nice to me.yup.so i told him to go to slp.whud can u do with a sleepy pig?haa.i LOVE d necklace he bought for me.yup.gna wear it everyday.except when at home n having training tat is :)

clement's not awake yet o.O i feel so guilty.he was so tired and i still make him walk around westmall with mi last nyt.arggh.i feeel soooooo guilty.bleh.one d first day of skul,we've gotta reach skul by 7am.cause sham wna talk to us.which most likely will tell us tat training is everyday le): clement keep laughin at mi during training.arrghh.stupid BIG bro also.cause sham said my fingers wer damn stiff.WELL BIG BROTHER YAN SHUN'S FINGERS ARE ALSO SO SO STIFF!bully me.

i realised i rly love d bb team both guys n gals.they are so nice and fun to b with.haa.oh wells.chin pei found out abt mi and clement le.means that in d next training,she'll be telling everyone who is willing to listen to her.haa.she tried to tell hong tuck and yan shun ytd.but they din bothr with her cause they alrdy knew.wahahaah.clement and i kept laughin :D

basketball is rly rly tough.i'm trying my best to tahan.but i just hate running.bleh.i miss 201 now.it was only during d second half of d yr in sec2 that we rly bonded tgt as a class.hai.
I WILL MISS YOU PPL.dont evr lose contact with mi.noooo.i'm gonna miss grace too :/ at least she always crap with mi.SOMETIMES.haa.grace has yet to teach mi tennis.

i wan ms koh to quickly come bak and coach us.cause training with d guys is so stressful.bleh.
i prefer ms koh's training.heh.i'm such a slacker.yay.

hmm.gong gong (yong yi) is sick.while BIG bro (yan shun) has 2 blisters.and clement is lack of slp.haa.

YAY LATER IS COUNTDOWN.i still dont know if clement can go anot leh.aiyoh.i wanna countdown with him.yup.I MISS CLEMENT ALREADY.aaahhh.nooooo.

ohwells.i'll post after d countdown.yup.

2005-12-30T20:58:00.000+08:00

yay.i just came bak home.frm training.well actually training was cancelled then i and chin pei wanted to go to skul just to shoot a few balls.but then sham came and made us to some stuff.alot of dribbling lor.and i was dying.clement and i wore pink polo tee after training.haa.he kept laughin at me durin my dribbling.meano.haa.

it was lucky he told mi that he put smth into my bag.or else i wont even know until i clear my bag a few days later.haa.ohwells.he bought mi a necklace.yup.with two hearts on it.i'm gna wear it always.haa.thn we went walkin arnd westmall aft dinner.yupp.and we bought two handphone straps.he has dont know whud chi words and 3399.haa.i rly love clement.he's rly nice.

haa.i wanted to send him to d mrt station while he wantd to send mi to d bus interchnge laa.but in d end he still send mi to d interchnge.haa.LOVE you clement.

2005-12-30T08:20:00.000+08:00

yawns.stupid clock cheat me lar.i thought that it was 9.30 le.but i see wrongly.it's only 8.30.make mi wake up so early.hur.

i'm rly goin broke liao.ytd i just top up my card then $2o.80 smth lyk that.aft that clement called mi at midnyt lyk that.thn talk untill now left $0.00.stupid sia.gta go top up again later.blehs.clement was fierce when he found out that i was falling sick : / he said i was to go slp straight away and he wont reply me till morning and i was not to msg any other ppl cause he is not replying me o.O haa.i knw he meant well so i listenef lorh.first time i slept bfre 3am these few nyts leh.i just msg-ed him.dont think he wake up yet.he's a little pig afterall((:
I HAVE A PIG AS MY DAR.haa.regret le =x nah i dont.

he was rly funny whn we wer talking on d fone.hmm.he IS hiding smth frm mi.ytd he said that he cant go with me to training cause he was goin out in d mrng.thn he said he wont lie to me and asked white lies can rite? o.o thn whn we wer talking ovr d fone, he wanted to say smth thn suddenly kept quiet.haa.he's so blur.he wanted to keep smth frm mi but smtimes he frgt and nearly say it out.wahahaha.shrugs.cant blame him.BLUR PIG :D

it's gonna skul reopen le.clement say d first day of skul he'll bring mi to go see his ex.cause she take 852 also :/ raas.ohwell.true now i am with clement.but i still am SO unable to control my emotions.i still cant stop thinking of whud hpn last time.and i'm lyk SO scared of being lied to again.bleh.i feel so hopeless.

it's lucky i do have really good friends there for me.

Gaomin - she was always there for me during skul days or ccas.be there comforting me whenevr i felt sad and stuff.

JiaYi-really nice too.cause no matter whud.she will always try to cheer mi up.i rly LOVE d day when we went mad in orchard.running around with 3balloons from our bags and a BIG flower in our hands.haa.

XinTian-although she always is so busy goin to skul everyday from morning to midnyt.she still makes a pt to b there for mi.though we hardly talk ovr d fone.but her sms-es are always good enuff to keep mi going.

ChongYing-we are still best friens.although we had some quarrels and din talk to each othr for rly long,we started talking again in nov((: she is always my listening ear.though i feel bad for calling her everynite cause i was always feeling so down and pressurized.

Adeline and Lynn-my jies who are also there for mi during skul n guides and othr days.always there being happy with mi whn i was and being there helping mi to get to my feet again when i was down.i'm so glad that they din give up on me.

Lynette-hardly talk to her now but thanks for being there for mi in skul.thanks for stopping mi frm slashing in skul.thanks for lecturing mi to wake mi up from depression though i dont think it worked.she is always going mad with me and doing weird stuff :D and d both of us will shout to each other frm our classrooms.cause we wer just next door classes ((:

ohwells.if i din mention anyone else it doesnt mean that u are nvr there for mi.but it's just tat my fingers are getting tired.bleh.clement just replied.he woke up at 7.30!!!omg.tats a record.....

haa.i feel so evil.weee.i LOVE clement.ohwell.he said he found us a bit too sudden.we lyk only knw each other PROPERLY for lyk one week only?haa.arrgghh.whudevr.lyk i care.

imagining goin to skul with him every morning,spending time tgt in skul and goin for trainings tgt and goin fr dinner tgt aft tat.it sounds fun.wahahaha.he told mi that he knw ALOT of gals from njc.thn i told him i expected this so i got xin1 li3 zun3 bei4.haa.if he lyks anthr gal thn i gt nth to say liao.hehheh.as in.i will OBVIOUSLY be so damn hurt.but whud can i do?gta look on d pos side.tats whud i told myself bfre i accepted clement.no matter whud happens.i gta stay strong.i was sacrificin my own emotions.

tian once told mi smth that made mi kinda see shud can of situation i was in.she said 'u have changed alot.you are no longer the happy go luck gal in pri skul who never cared about anything'
i guess it was rly true.who i am now is someone who is trapped by my own emotions.in pri skul though i did lyk some guys.but i nvr really am bothered by my emotions.hmm.well mayb cause my thinkin is more matured now or smth.shrugs.

i just wished i could be lyk in pri skul with no worries nothin.even psle din bthr mi.i was still playing on psle day :/ i rly love pri skul.

oh ya.clement was talking to me abt his math cher this yr and it made mi rmb of ycy.wahahaha.was lyk rememberin how she will always call my full name and i always freak out.seriously i freak out.my legs go soft.hur.cause i nvr knw how to ans her and stuff.my mind goes blank.bleh.

hey '05 201 gals.dont lose contact yuh?do have a class gathering soon((:
'05 nygg sec2s.i'll come bak to see u ppl being sec3s and torturing d jnrs:D
everyone i knw in ny.do tc.we'll meet sometimes (:

clement is a little pig((:

2005-12-29T20:39:00.000+08:00

wahahaha.its been so long since i typed a post.i always wanna type but then i give up halfway.gaga.i've been rly busy with my trainings.yup.

i cried during guides farewell.ohwells.its lyk.i din wanna cry initially but i tot of not seeing them again.i just cant take it.sniff.i'll miss u ppl loads.everyone in nygg.esp those in d sec2 batch((:

hmm.now i've got anthr guy i rly LOVE ((: haa.ohwells he was rly nice.yup.i mean he IS rly nice.
haa.wont say d name.but wer in d same skul n same cca :D
and best part is we can go to skul tgt every morning and we can go home tgt after training or go fr dinner.yay.

shall type more nx time((:

ilu clement.

2005-12-25T21:51:00.000+08:00

MERRY X'MAS ((:

haaa.yawns.i was up sms-ing clement till 12 plus in d mrng.thn he fell asleep.at d same time i was sms-ing yong yi also.

YONG YI IS MY GONG GONG :D haaa.and i'm his sun nu.uhhuh.
wer smsing till around 2am or smth.idk.i kpt falling asleep n my phone kpt vibrating.so had to wake up and reply.haa.thn today go church gong gong.cause vry sleepy.

oh wells.i agree that when guys pms,they are much much more dangerous than girls.
dumb.clement is showing mi attitude or smth.aahh.pms.cant be bothered.

gong gong is nice.he's going out with his gf tmr.wahahaha ((:

hmm.alex might be lying.papa mt's gna check fr mi.yuh
cause they study in d same skul.well.

shrugs.

2005-12-22T20:54:00.000+08:00

wahahaha.

ytd i went with fang yu to westmall.we spent hours buying presents and writing cards for all the bballers laa.haa
yawns.both of us wer aching lyk mad.

hmm.thn i had guides today.i nearly died of pain laa.and i kinda fell down the steps((:
mingyi and kyna screamed laa.but it was ME falling.not them o.o hehheh.

hmm.it was pure torture walkin up n dwn the steps.AND CROSSING OVERHEAD BRIDGES.

but legs gave way a few times laa.or rthr, alot of times.stupid.

hmm.zac is bak in s'pore.first thing.attitude mi.ohwells.i rly dk whud to do.
feeling damn stress now.i LOVE tide kor kor :D

hehheh.he rocks can.bleh.anyways.i'll continue tmr.wna watch tv.

zac still sucks.
he rly doesnt deserve love.
sorry.

2005-12-21T15:59:00.000+08:00

hmm.its been rly long since i posted something.ohwells.been really really busy coping with guides and bb.yuh.and i just ended my guides camp on erhh.sat? yuh.thn sunday was break.and i had bb training on monday and ytd.yup.today rest while the guys are still having training everyday.poor them )):

haa.hmm.basketball training is tough now.cause mr sham is coaching us.ms koh had an op or smth.yup.we had lots of running laa.i nearly died during the 2.4km timed run.cause at tat time i just recovered from fever and flu and i still had cough.so i had difficulty in breathing.yup.

ohwell.but i find trainings on monday n tuesday kinda fun.only that on monday i rly couldnt take it in the first part cause i got rly difficult to breathe.yuh.we had to run 10 rounds around d bb court within 5 mins 30 secs. and we have to run 3 sets.meaning we had to run 30 rounds.yuh.but i din complete it.i was dying.the guys wer worse laa.they had to run 10 rounds within 4 mins o.o

wahahaha.i knw some of the guys' names now.erhh.lemme try to recall.

MINGKAI (d guy who ran with mi d last round of 400m n was pushing mi on)

HONG TUCK (rumoured tat he lyks fang yu xD n d NO.2 PIG)

XU DA (captain)

CLEMENT (THE NO.1 PIG)

YAN SHUN (d tall guy)

ZHI YUAN

ALEX

YONG YI

HONG MING

thn training ytd was FUN ((:
yepp.we nearly had to run the suicide run four times i think.
but mr sham say if we can complete our sprints 3 times below 1os (for guys) and 12s (for gals),thn dont have to run.

suicide run is start frm
base line run to first quarter line
thn bak to base line
thn to half court line
thn bak to base line
thn 3 quarter line
thn bak to base line
and finally to the other base line and bak.
yuh.its torture.

hmm.so our sprint was run from baseline to the other baseline. within tat time.
girls and guys first sprint was below time limit.thn second n third run exceed.so mr sham say he give one last chance.guys below 10.2s and gals below 12.2s.
i think we made it in d end.hur.dont know laa.was dying.cause no time to catch ur breath one.bleh.

thn at d end of training we had jumps.guys jump up n down on the benches while girls have to jump standing broadjump for 100m on the track continuously.
WINGHAN WAS LYK A KANGAROO.
i feel so zi bei.she was only taller thn mi by a bit but she jump damn far laa : /

argh.we wer aching all ovr whn it ended and our legs could hardly support us when we walk.
hmm.a group of us went to westmall to eat.yuh.i only knw hong tuck, clement, yan shun, chin peh, fangyu and me stayed fr dinner.aini and i think anthr guy went bak home fr dnnr.yup.

damn funny.CLEMENT IS THE NO.1 PIG!
and HONG TUCK IS NO.2 PIG!
dnt ask why.

2005-12-08T13:26:00.000+08:00

yay.kor kor is bak from bang kok.uhhuh.i got more thinkgs than the time he went to hongkong.

well mayb it's cause i gave him 100 bucks this time bfre he left.bleh.

hmm.i got:
a road trip bag (he actually used it to put his stuff in first cause he said that his bag has no space.)

2 mickey mouse shirts (he din see properly and got the same design but at least it is diff colour.)

1 levis wallet which is rly fun to play with

1 cap

1 fbt bb pants

1 quicksilver pants

westlife cd face to face

1 whinnie the pooh mug

1 cup.

yupp.tats abt it.yawns.rly tired.i'm kinda grounded.my four earholes are closed.wth.cause my mum found out and yuh it got infected.doctor say cause of allergy.but i think its more of the sea.whudevr.its closed now anyway.so stupid.

but at least my hair is still blue.hur.i will let it b blue till my bday where i'll dye it brown.ya.its so stupid to think how people really are.you think they are nice but they are not.wth.

when you actually have happy times you must know that they nvr last.bleh.
it always stop.somehow.raas.

zac said we should meet up and have a chat afterall.well oh great.just when i got grounded : / and matthew finally comes msging mi after almost TWO months saying he wanna come my house to play again.wth.and aft that he stops msging.
guys are really weird.

AND TAN ZHENG YANG! YOUR BASKETBALL HAS BEEN IN MY HOUSE FOR 9 DAYS! u stupid lazy pig if u dont want your ball say so earlier laa.i'll throw it away.make mi carry your ball all the way from sentosa to my house when u actually forgot all about ur ball n went home empty handed.grrrs.

yawns.i've been missing loads of bb trainings.yuh.of all times i have to get a flu then a fever and now a cough.wth.its a miracle how come my asthma has not come yet.zZz.

PAPA mt is a lazy pig.oinks.we wer talking last nyt and he come msging mi say he was damn exhausted aft he put down d fone.and aft tat he msg mi saying he was gna slp cause he just fell on d bed n couldnt get up o.O whud the? haa.i promoted him from being my gong gong to bcome my papa.uhhuh.

i've got a biao ge (cousin) too.well not real one of course.haa.he's a blur king.hehheh.my punching bag ((: he's rly nice.i fell asleep while waiting for him to finish his job interview.hur.i went with cy to accompany him.yup.bleh.

i simply am so lost in guides now.well.

maybe cause i aint paying attention to guides anymore.
more of basketball now((:

2005-12-02T10:18:00.000+08:00

uhhuh.now everywhere is hurting laa.cause i tio sun burn till very bad.yuh.especially my back and my shoulders.now the tan is lyk kinda uneven,and it hurts loads laa.yawns.its been 3 nyts tat i cant slp properly.zZz.

zhuzhu promised to msg mi when he wakes up.which is lyk suppose to be on wed.but he nvr.raas.frgt it.i knew he wnt.feel lyk kao bei-ing him laa.dumbass.he's sick o.O still ton under his frien's blk.cause they frgt to open door for him n went to slp.haa.

raas.i had bb training on monday.uhhuh.and i was hugging the ball and sitting on the court and sleeping.hehheh.fang yu and i wer simply mad laa.kept talking n laughin.n both of us wer damn blur during training.cause lack of slp.thn ms koh always had to say "can the 2 IPs keep quiet for awhile?" haa.really very tired whud.

hmmm.thn tuesday was class gatherin.hmm.i dun rly consider it a gathering laa.more of lyk outing.whudevr.not my prob.i din even bother to organise a proper one this hols.i'm lyk so darn busy laa.bleh.yuh.we went to sentosa from 8am all the way to 4pm.that is lyk.8 hours??
yawns.no wonder i orh lang now.whudevr.aft that i went with yi jia to lot1 in the nyt.stupid tide cheat mi again.hur.he at first say he 8plus will reach lot1.thn whn i call him he said 9plus.i cant bother to wait so i went home.that was when i called zhuzhu laa.then he come telling mi saying that he is sleeping.grrr.and he too tired to go lot 1.wth.

oh yuh.thanks yx fr d cd n dvd.yup.

then wednesday i din go out.cause sun burn till damn pain.

yesterday i went out with adeline.yupp.we went out from 12 to 6?o.O
went to orchard then bugis.yawns.saw michelle n huixian at bugis.uhhuh.
was rly pain.cause adeline keep accidentally hitting my shoulders =X

raas.then today i'm staying at home.haa.cause tmr i'm goin out again.yups.to celebrate chongying's bday.uhhuh.its gonna b so tiring.

i wanna go for the bb clinic.but the dumbass at home dont allow mi.fukr.thn how am i suppose to improve myself?it's lyk not everyday got clinic one laa.dumb laa.

raas.my hair is BLUE now.but it looks black if its not under the sun.grrr.nehmind.i'm gonna dye brown agains.cant stand black hair.gawd.i will die laa.hur.mayb i'll either go get a lighter blue or i dye purple too.cause now it's navy blue.kinda dark.

whud am i suppose to get for chongying?o.O yawns.i cant even go out today.dont feel lyk goin out too.PAIN SIA.raas.

yawns.i'm really sleepy.stupid sun burns.making mi have sleepless nyts.haaa.chongying also tio sun burn.uhhuh.and jeffery is in china now i think : / nobody to play bb with mi fr one week.hai.

this simply sucks laa.
well i guess serve zac rite.
he din see and treasure whud was IN FRONT of him.
instead he thought about stuff far away.
whudevr.

2005-11-24T17:11:00.000+08:00

what am i suppose to say? i tried to cheer him up and stuff.but then he comes to show mi attitude.lyk wth.he makes it sounds lyk i'm the one who is the horrible one in the relationship.fukr.whudevr.i rly am trying not to care anymore.serves him ryt for getting dumped.it hurts.yes of course it does.

SORRY YONG XIANG.i din knw that u knw that i had a blog =x

yawns.....i was thinking thru my life.i rly wan a peaceful life now.yup.tide called mi just now.raas.i think he is at work now.argggh.i feel rly bored.the time is 5.17pm.i wanna go play bb.but i'm rly too tired.trainings,guides and othr stuff are rly taking every ounce of life away from mi.zZz.wnder how can i take it when skul reopens.
i'm the IP BABY in njbb.wahahahaha.hmm.how am i to play for A div?tsk.MURDER.

tian can no longer contact mi often.hai.whud am i to do?stupid skul.if she got into njip,we'll be goin fr bb trainings tgt already.raas.i hate this.

I HATE JAYSON YEO SMTH SMTH
I HATE ZACHARY LOH SMTH SMTH (i think is tse xiang)

arggh.whudevr.it's so darn crap.i wndr why do idiots lyk d both of them are on this world.to make life more interesting?well jayson tat airpok can go be fried and drain all his oil off.then throw him to feed the pigs.as for zac.he can go fuk himself first and..and...idk.he doesnt even have a heart.let him just rot away somewhere without his apple stuff.without anyone to care for him.

i'm msgin jie kai nw to ask for d bag he promised to buy for mi.who else owe mi stuff?hmmm.gong gong owes mi a crumpler and 50 bucks.mama owes mi a rd trip bag.erhh.yongxiang owes mi a cd and a bag.raas.

i'm so tired.choco's crap.uhhuh.lyk i care.whud d hell do i still live?mayb just for my friens and myself.yah.sians.think i am meeting tide tmr.he owes mi a meal.haa.

2005-11-23T11:54:00.000+08:00

yawns.i think there was bb training today.but i din go.wahahahaha.cause i woke up at 6am to eat breakfast.then i look outside and see it's rainin so i went bak to sleep.hehheh.i never go for any training this whole week lor.and i promise ms.koh i'll turn up for nx monday's training.zZz.i'm rly tired lor.

ytd i woke up damn early just to meet yong xiang laa.who actually turned up half an hour late.hur.dumbass haad to go bak to chi high for sm stuff frst.yawns.thn i was at plaza sing at 9 laa.damn eerie.so dark.haa.whuds mre i was freezing.yuh.yong xiang and i were snatching fones.hehheh.cause i keep taking his fone to go disturb his frien.wahahahaha.whudevr.

i simply LOVE the song "sorry" by madonna now.heart it to bits.

[SORRY]

Je suis désolé
Lo siento
Ik ben droevig
Sono spiacente
Perdóname

I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
[repeat]

I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
I've heard it all before
And I can take care of myself
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'forgive me'
I've heard it all before
And I can't take it anymore

You're not half the man you think you are
Save your words because you've gone too far
I've listened to your lies and all your stories (Listen to your stories)
You're not half the man you'd like to be

I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
I've heard it all before
And I can take care of myself
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'forgive me'
I've seen it all before
And I can't take it anymore

Don't explain yourself cause talk is cheap
There's more important things than hearing you speak
You stayed cause I made it so convenient
Don't explain yourself, you'll never see

Forgive me...

(Sorry, sorry, sorry)
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
[repeat]

I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
I've heard it all before
And I can take care of myself
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'forgive me'
I've seen it all before
And I can't take it anymore

I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
(Don't explain yourself cause talk is cheap)
I've heard it all before, And I can take care of myself
(There's more important things than hearing you speak)
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'forgive me'

I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before

the lyrics are lyk damn nice laa.wth.it simply is SO NICE.
hur.

actually.i'm rly worried fr zac.d last time i talkd to him.it was on d nyt he broke up.n he was rthr upset.he tld mi he wantd to b alone at tht time.and he said nites.thn i havent heard frm him anymore.ytd i went to view his profile.it made mi worried laa.i tot i could let him have some tm alone and he'll be okeh.but it doesn't seems so.he seems to be taking it rly badly.and i feel so damn whud laa.cause i cant help him or cheer him up or anything.

u ppl may think i stil LOVE him or smth.okeh mayb i do a lil bit only.but now whn i worry fr him is not bcause i love him but to me he is a good frien.yuh.and last tm bfre i was with him,he was also rthr upset due to sm probs.at least tat time i helped him through as a frien.and he finally cheered up.and nw.i'm his frien but i cant help.idk whud to do laa.

he's kinda giving up on himself.and idw that to hpn.one thing i knw abt zac is tht.he never says anything.unless it is forced out of him.so how he is feeling now and everything.he is coping alone.and i knw.he cant take such a big blow.but he doesnt wanna talk to anyone.he is shuttin himself in.hai.

denise said.its time he learnt.gong gong said d same thing too.well mayb.but i just pray he is rly okeh.its damn scary when zac gets upset.he becomes so.idk.lyk there's nth left in him.ya.

i just rmb choco has friendly match tdy.ooops.and i din go fr trainin.could have gone to watch.but i was slping.heh.whudevr.while yong xiang has gone running with his dad.and he'll only have his hp at arnd 3.damn.i am trying to find blue/purple hair dye.bleh.

jayson is as good as dead now.idk.d r/l is left hanging in midair.he din finish it.and it looks lyk his friend is trying to finish it.hmm.if he rly come and find mi aftr his o levels lyk whud he promised,i guess that our r/l will rly last.but if he doesnt.well.too bad.i wnt say anythin.cuz it hurts.

as fr alex.i also dont know.where the hell he is? i have no idea laa.i will only knw if he was lying to mi next yr around sept or smth.ARRRGHHH.whudevr.

wth.guys simply suck.they make promises to you.and somehow.they will break it.or their actions will show otherwise.jayson is one whose actions show otherwise.zac is one who breaks it.he broke his promises not once but twice.whn we jst got together,he promised he wont leave.in the end he left.then we got bak together again.he said sorry for anyhow making promises and now when he promise.he really meant it.BULL SHIT laa.ass.he still broke it.whuds more during the second time we wer together.he lied to me more than evr.

saying he doesnt lyk weiling anymore.FUCKR THAT WAS NOT TRUE.
saying he nvr contactd weiling for damn long le.ASS.I CHCKED HIS MSGES LAA.and he was msging her whn i was in d bus with him last time.
saying he n weiling wer nvr tgt.LIAR.he was d one who told mi last tim that one of his ex already had a bf and that she always wanted an ipod from him.ISN'T THAT WEILING?! unless it's tat kc gal who dumpd him fr anthr guy laa.which DUH IT'S NOT.bloody hell.he still puts d blame on justin fr telling mi all these when it was he HIMSELF who told mi.

wahahaha.choco just replied mi.he said he kena bench damn long only last part thn play a bit.hur.funny.yanqing is asking mi to join his outside team.zzz.dont think i will join.cause if mr.sham put mi on external team also, i die le.hmm.

bttr stop le.chongying is coming ovr at 1.15.wer going fr lunch tgt((:haa.been way long since we wnt out tgt.cause we kinda quarreled and grew apart.yup.

I LOVE MYSELF((: cause guys are jerks.at least gong gong sings to mi.hehheh.

2005-11-19T11:01:00.000+08:00

hmmm.d only word in my head everyday is TRAINING.wahahaha.
whether it is guides or whether it is bb.yuh.

i'm writing this post all in full form so that my dear JIAYI can read.hur.later say i must buy vowels again.tsk.i just came bak frm playing bb lyk 1 and a half hours ago.played with jeffery and edwin at d cc.hmm.it's been way long since we trio evr played together le.yup.it was rly fun and funny.i miss the old times when we were younger.hai.but we still remain the bb trio.haa.so nevermind.

i find that nowadays i can tahan the bb trainings already.yup.no longer feel lyk vomiting or stuff.but i still dread the beginning of the training.which we have to run 2.4km.bleh.just ytd we had to run 2 rounds thn the next four rounds are intervals.which means that 100m run thn 100m sprint thn 100m run.that is for one round.so we gotta run that four times.haaa.when i finished the 2 rounds of running i wanted to stop.I'M LAZY.but miss koh was lyk "you dont come tell mi you got block nose then dont want to run arh.you go continue your running.Only when you want to faint then you come and tell mi."

tsk.tat WAS bad.wahahaha.but i cheated laa.cause my 3rd,4th and 5th round i run 300m and only sprint 100m for each round.hehheh.i was DYING.only at d last round then i ran 200m n 200m sprint.yuh.

realli bored at home now.i dunno whud to do.weekends simply sucks.cause i cant go out anywhere.yawns.

zhuzhu was really nice to mi ytd.which is kinda weird.tsk.i dun even knw whether i still lyk him.whudevr.he said he lyk anthr gal.HIS FUTURE STEAD o.O
i din knw whud to say.wahahaha.now he is on a cruise.will only mi coming bak on sunday.yawns.he said i beta b guai or else he dun teng mi already :/

hmm.yong xiang was an ass ytd.said i was selfish.fine thn.he wants it that way then fine.i cant b bothered.guys are reali jerks.zZz.living w/o them makes life so much more peaceful((:

oh ya.on thur i went out with my classmates frm njc.yup.we went to watch d emily rose movie.yuh.it was kinda scary.i knw that on the end of the row in d cinema,my other friends wer screaming.eugene (the only guy there.wahahaha) was sitting bside mi.he tried to scare mi smtimes by saying boo or when i cover my eyes he'll push them down.grr.he said he wanted to make mi scream.but whenevr he tried to scare mi,i will hit him.wahahaha.not gna sit bside him anymore.but actually he was rthr nice.he made mi laugh during d movie o.O and it was meant to b scary.haa.i din knw cat high guys wer nice.mayb he's an exception.

after that i went to cuppage with denise fr awhile.bleh.it's so darn strange.nehmind.idw to elaborate on it.i really miss playing pool.yup.it's been way long since i played.
RAAS I CANT GET XINTIAN.
tats so dumb.she shld be still sleeping now.zZz.

adeline said my voice sounded lyk a baby when i called her last nyt. o.O
bleh.and tat dumb yong xiang showed mi attitude.
to think i even said i lyk his voice cause it was KIDDO voice.
i dun wanna talk to him anymore.wahahaha.
even deleted his no frm my fone.dunno dun care.

people are thinking that i LOVE runing now.let me make d correction.NO I DONT LOVE RUNNING.in fact.i HATE running.but d reason why i run everyday whtr during trainings or by myself is to train up.ya.i've got NO choice at all.so dont think that i LOVE running.thats a wrong concept.i NEVER liked running.and NEVER WILL lyk runnin.full-stop.

wahahaha.calling xt nw.but she aint pickin up.thing is,she just sms me.aiyoh.i think she doing her art things or smth now laa.so stupid.i hate her art club.she's in skul now.thn she said she gotta go fr a talk later.yawns.whud am i suppose to do? O.O

i think i will change the skin of this blog soon.when i have the time.dumb jeffery was lyk saying "eh,today no need to go back to skool arh?" so stupid.he knws that i gotta go almost everyday.and he was laughin at me.cause he always sleep at home.grrr.at least i won him in abc.which i think i nvr won him bfre.I THINK.

bleh.might as well go slp nw.
yuh.
tired.

basketball simply rocks.dun ask why.

2005-11-15T21:11:00.000+08:00

hmm.
I HAD LEG CRAMP AT 3AM.wth.ass laa.all i did was move my leg thn cramp.first time i evr had cramp leh.and i was sleeping.aiyoh.i also heck.tahan d pain n go bak to slp.

den i woke up and went to run.yup.bfre i left fr plaza sing.yawns.sleepy.
aft that we went to ccab to set up d guides stuff.yup.i jst realised i ate alot tdy:/

wahahahaha.rachel and i wanted to run aft we got dismissed.which was lyk 7pm liao.den ng laa.kpt us till 7.10.den rachel cant run anymore.bleh.so sian.i was half tying gadgets and watching d ppl play bb there.

tmr HE is goin fr camp.i dun think i wna msg him to tell him to tc.later he gets pissed again.fukr ass hole.bleh.

tmr i've got training in d morning.den i gta go ccab fr guides.den i think i might be running aft tat.i'm goin mad.idk why i LOVE running so much.hmm.whudevr.

it hurts whenevr i go home.cause it's lyk last tm.he will always wait at d busstop aft kap fr mi aft skul.den we'll take bus go to d stop outside westmall.n frm there,he will walk mi hm,which is arnd 20 mins.yuh.whether rain or shine.we'll always b walking tgt.bleh.
it hurts.rly.

whudevr.i no longer use d word uhhuh nowadays.it just reminds mi of tat darn jayson.bleh.

i gta go to slp nw.hai.tmr gta wake up early.yawns.nites everyone.

2005-11-14T20:19:00.000+08:00

hmm.idk whud got ovr mi last nyt.but i suddenly took out the neoprint we took tgt,the letters he wrote to me and the cds he burned for mi.hmmm.

yuh sure.i did cry.whn i re-read d letters he gave mi.but smth is vry weird.whn i saw d neoprint,we took tgt,i couldnt recognise him.at all.nw dun laugh.i'm serious.i just kept staring at our foto.staring n staring.i rly felt tat his face was so.lyk a stranger.

he din look lyk d guy who went with mi to east coast,who sat bside mi at d jetty,who went with mi to orchard.he din look lyk d guy who sent mi home aft skool,who always talked to mi ovr d fone,who sent mi home whn i came bak frm sentosa.he din look lyk d guy who always held my hand,who let mi snuggle up to him whn i was feeling cold on d bus,who always gave mi a small boy's look when he wanted smth his way.

who was he?i cant rmb.the neoprint we took tgt.the guy standing bside mi.i dun recognise him.it made mi realise.whud he said to me these few weeks,made mi grow to hate him.so much.i cant rmb the HIM i knew last tm.

the him i knw nw.is someone who cant stop lying.he thinks idk anythin.but actually i knw d truth.but he hides d truth.even whn i askd him.jst to tell d truth fr ONCE,ytd.he still lied.whud can i do?he doesnt realise.he is losing EVERYTHING.just cause his dar weiling is bside him nw.

do i actually knw him?i rly dunno how to answer.since last yr i lyked him.since last yr till bfre we broke up,d HIM tat i knw.was PERFECT.in every way.

d truth hurts.yes it rly does.but i have to face it.
i no longer knw him.
d zac that i once knw.no longr exist in d REAL world.he only exist in my heart.
d zac who i loved.

ohwells.i'll lock up d memories thn.cause i'm rly serious.i cant recognise him in our foto we took tgt.its all gone.disappeared into thin air.

i gta train rly hard frm nw.bleh.every training we have to run 2.4 km.yawns.
tats rthr tiring.bt tdy's training was rthr slack (THANK GOD)
i hate this week laa.its lyk.so hectic.everyday not guides den is bb.otherwise its both.zZz.

went with gao to eat a rthr late lunch at coro aft guides.yuh.we left d skul at only arnd 3 i guess.had stuff to settle.yawns.thn we wnt wndring all arnd coro.haa.
later i wnt to bb court to shoot a few balls bfre going hm.yup.

tmr i have to reach plaza sing at 9.30.yaawns.whn can i evr gt a proper slp?bleh.
i nearly vomitted during training again tdy.idk why.felt so sick.yuh.hai.i guess i nd time to get used to it.i wna train rly hard.jst wna get my mind off all those bgr stuff.

life is indeed much bttr nw.as long as i dun think of d past memories.i get to go out rthr freely nw.guys are okeh as friens.lyk whud i said.relationship ruins d friendship.so why bthr getting into one? relationship will nvr last at this age.so why dun jst remain as friens?cause friendship can last u a whole lifetime.

hmm.mayb i'll go running tmr mrng.bfre i leave fr plaza sing.yuh.if i can wake up early enuff tat is.my tummy's hurting.bleh.cant talk to xt now.she's busy)):

i rly miss her laa.all thanks to her dumb art club.making her stay till midnite almost everyday INCLUDING weekends.dumb laa.she doesnt even have the time or energy to talk to mi.whuds mre we wer planning fr a longr overnite stay at my hse.stupid art club is taking so much of her time.

jst wish tat at least.i cn have someone to confide in.nw i cant evn meet xt.its lyk.taking someone rly close to me,away frm mi.hai.i have loads of stuff to tell her.

hmmm.anyways whudevr.i gt my life to start anew.with or without him.i dun need him anymore.he was mayb just a toy to mi? idk.whudevr.

let's just say it's over.

2005-11-13T17:44:00.000+08:00

wahahahahaha.i'm rly happy.cause xt rly ROCK my life((:
you will be my bestie always XD

hmm.its been a tough nite last nite.had to endure ALL his tauntings and stuff :/
den he comes smsing mi late at nyt to tell mi about HIM AND WEILING.
lyk explaining will do any help.
he said smth lyk 'playing timer is never in my(he is talking about himself) character'
and i told him 'but lying is in your character'.bleh.whudevr.

thn in d aftnoon he comes asking mi if i am free at THAT PRECISE moment.
dumb laa.ask mi to go watch d movie emily rose.lyk wth?
he knws tat i HATE horror movies and he still ask mi go watch.
well i think tat he is in d cinema making love with his DAR now.ohwells.idc.

my ear's damn red nw.bleh.i'm EATING.tmr got bb training :/
MR LIM THREW AWAY MY KFC MEAL YESTERDAY.grrr.he tot i din want it anymore.

sian laa.idk whud to do.everyday training trainin trainin.wahahaha.
hmm.mr lim taught mi to compose simple songs.and to FIND MY OWN CHORDS >.<
haaa.tat is smth i nvr tried bfre.hmm.

i dun rly have much to say.cause thanks to that guy.he is making mi so emotionless.
damn him keh.

2005-11-11T17:32:00.000+08:00

lets just say that i'm rly tired these few days.yuh.it's practically:

BASKETBALL TRAINING..

GUIDES TRAINING..

BASKETBALL TRAINING..

GUIDES TRAINING..

bleh.i'm rly dying.yawns.and its nightmare.d nite bfre i will slp real late and d nx day i have to wake up rly early.grr.SUCKS.

i've gotten ovr him.wahahaha.well....i guess i did.i shld rly thank him.it was him who helpd mi get ovr him so easily.cause he kept giving mi d cold shoulder(even up till nw) and a definite ans.I MUST THANK HIM FR GIVING MI D COLD SHOULDER.cause that made mi hate him.yup.unlike someone by the name of JAYSON YEO who still hasnt given mi his ans.bleh.so DUMB.hurhur.

lemme see.hmmm.
tmr i have to go to HQ AGAIN.to pack the guides logistic.

monday i've got bb training in d morning den i gotta go fr guides at 11.30am.

tuesday i gotta go fr guides till i think 5plus or smth.

wednesday i got bb training again den gotta go to ccab for guides.

thursday i got guides again.

friday i have bb training but it is also ny open hse day.which means i might not b able to go fr training.

bleh.
now u knw how hectic it is.zZz.
zhu zhu is rly CUTE.haa.u beta tc of urself.true tht i'm proud of u that u r in d national team but i will kick ur ass if u injure urself.haa.

wahahahahaha.i just heard my dad say that my bro is dating someone and that my mum should stop questioning him.WOW.thats so.WEIRD.cant imagine my bro dating O.O

hmmm.i went to VISIT justin just nw.gagas.tsk.he wanted to give mi 12 bucks.to buy my hair dye.cause he knew i was broke :/ I DIN TAKE IT.grr.he so poor thing.kena grounded fr so long.hai.kor looks funny whn he doesnt spike his hair.haaa.he knws i'm gettng lian agn.
he was lyk.telling mi to stand properly.stop talking lyk a lian.hur.idc rly.

life's peaceful nw.i guess.
SORRY YONG XIANG FR SHOWING U ATTITUDE THIS MORNING.din mean to.
hmm.i guess its good to b busy.it keeps mi frm thinking too much.yup.
and i dun think i evr wna hear d words 'I LOVE YOU' coming out from a guy's mouth EVER AGAIN.well.nt fr d near future.

i'm getting sick of all d lies.
whud ' i wnt evr leave you cause i love you'
whud 'i love you'
whud 'i love nobody else except you'
whud 'i can never live my life without you'

ass fukrs lor.tsk.all those are just lies.true love will nvr hpn in teenage life.
thats whud i learnt aft this break up.
took me around 15 break ups ovr d period of 4 yrs to learn this.
gawd.thats rthr PATHETIC.

hur.whudevr.i suck.cause i'm too soft hearted.
cant bear to let go always.
and it always end up mi getting hurt.
while d othr doesnt and actually is with anthr person.
bleh.

its dumb.
wasting my tears ovr worthless jerks.
well they ARE jerks in RELATIONSHIPS/
but actually they are really nice FRIENDS.

quote an example.
zachary loh dunno wad dunno wad.
he suckd to d core in our r/l.
but thinking bak,he was a rly gd frien to mi bfre we got tgt.
always trying to cheer mi up with his crappiness and blurness.
haa.nice memories.but we cant continue d gd memories of being friends anymore.
yup.i'll rthr he continue ignoring mi.
den telling mi all abt his current gf.

yawns.rly rly tired z_Z
my daddy just said "shujun, how u wish u got 4 eyes rite?"
dumb laa.jst cause i was watching tv and typing this.haa.

now i just wna treasure every friendship that i have.
RELATIONSHIP ALWAYS RUIN FRIENDSHIP.
trust mi.so its beta to keep it at friendship.
i rly dun wan to lose d friendship with my friens in dazhong and nanyang keh?((:

i rly wna excel in bb.its been my wish to excel in it since p4.but d training is much worse den d trainings in ny.bleh.i gotta tahan though.its d only way to improve my bb skills.
I CANT GIVE UP!!!!!
i rly love bb.hohoho.though i cant b as good as zhuzhu tats fr sure.HE IS IN D NATIONAL TEAM!
and choco too.they cork eye nv go select him fr d national selection laa.
but he's rly good too.
both of them always 3 pointr CHOP ah.

haa.tsk.jianting (zhuzhu) nowadays kp saying 'si bei sian'
poor him.gotta travel all d way to paya lebar.tsk.

gotta TRAIN HARD.gna prove to d guys who hurt my heart.
that they are just ASSHOLES compared to mi.
rly.

2005-11-11T17:18:00.000+08:00

d time has come.
split personalities.
I AM GIVING UP ON MYSELF.

for once.i felt it.it is really true.
i have d freedom again.
my heart used to be so undecided.
i was scared to love.
cause i feared d pain of losing you.
but now.my heart has grown stronger.
it is no longer painful.i feel nothing.

all i knw is that the good days that we shared,
have become happy memories.
you may think that i'm talking about you.
well not this time.
this time i'm talking about.
ME.only me.

i tried to think of your feelings.
too much.
so much that you started to doubt me.
i wndr.why did i put in so much effort?
you din care.true you were by my side.
but now i realised.you always wished.
that the gal holding your hand was her and not me.

i no longer care bout anyone.
it hurts reali bad.whn that person dont care.
its rly true.all these will never last.
even my angel.he has not returned.
am i suppose to wait or does he wna go?
idk.he nvr told mi.

as i look back.i realised.
i've wasted too much time.
wasted all my tears.
i spent sleepless nyt.
living in fear.

if only u will tell mi nw.
whether u wan ur wings back.
or shld i keep them?
why do tears start forming.
whn i thnk of ur name?
i have to b strng.

all these will nvr last.
why cant i lead a normal life?
sometimes i rly hate myself.
cause i'm just so dumb.
knwing smth will hurt but still wnting to have that thing.

ni bu yao zai wo de mian qian jia xin xin le.
wo zhi dao,ni cong lai mei you ai guo wo.
wo bu zai zhui jiu.yin wei.
wo de xin yi bain cheng le sui pian.
yong yuan bu neng zai ai ning yi ge ren le.

i told you not to promise mi.
cause i'll hate you if u break the promise.
i was right.you did break the promise.
not once but twice.

i nva wna turn bak d time
to say tht i love you again

2005-11-05T20:14:00.000+08:00

woah.its been lyk damn long since i bothered to blog.yuh.zac and i broke up already.reason? i dunp him cause he still LOVED anthr gal.dumbass.go on LOVING ur dar then.see how the both of u survive.gawd.whudevr.u only cm talking to mi whn u quarreled w/her.WHUD D HELL IS YOUR PROB??am i lyk some kind of.EXTRA.u only talk to mi whn u wan to.fuk laa.

wnt brood much ovr him.we had happy times tgt.let those days become happy memories now.
yawns.i've startd my bb training.its seriously rly tough.much worse den nybb.bleh.bt i will tahan.i will prove to HIM.that i'm way beta off than some freak lyk HER.which is true.his taste is lyk so bad.tsk.i'm glad i'm nt his gf.or else othrs will talk rot.

hohoho.will tahan.MUST TAHAN.hurhur.i'm so damn PROUD OF ZHUZHU((:
he rly rocks.top 18 bb playrs in s'pore.n he is in the national team.
KOR YOU SIMPLY ROCK.woohooo.so PROUD of u.-beams with PRIDE XD

feeling rly dead nw.ytd i had bb training till i nearly died.thn i had to RUN AND FIND THAT STUPID YUN FENG.tell mi he is at d side gate.den he ended up at d main gate.dumbass.make mi run with cong whn i'm nearly dead.stpd yunfeng only apologise aft d show end.DUMB LAAA.

den last nyt watch d choral nyt till lyk 9plus.slept only at 11plus.nx mrng had to wake up at 7am.jst fr guides training.zZzz.dying.

yawns.gtg fr patrol meetng ONLINE nw.hur.will update soon((:

2005-10-24T13:23:00.000+08:00

uhhuh.many things hpn in theses two weeks.yuh.or rather.idk how long laa.

hai.trust mi it wont last.idw to curse you.but seriously it wont last.she's just scared of losing u tats why she asked you to choose, knwing that u will choose her.idk.choose ur way.yuh.if u wna leave,leave.but at least tell mi d truth.idw hear d whole full story frm anthr person knw.it reali hurts.evn d deepest slashes on my hand nw cant take away d pain tat i feel in my heart.

tears keep rolling down my face
blood keep flowing down my hand
d pain peirces my heart
d knife tears my flesh
all i did was to love you,
but you loved her more.

i wish i could turn bak d tm knw.i wishd u din meet her on d streets tat day.it borught bak all ur old feelings didnt it? fuk u laa.u knw my com broke dwn.tats why u dare to put her foto on ur friendster.yuh.

thanks michelle fr lettng mi go to ur hse n use ur com.n fr tryng to cheer mi up.u cheer up too((:

thanks * tryng to comfort mi tdy.fr pattng my bak whn i jst broke dwn jst nw.

thanks wu shuang fr telling mi some reasons.

thanks gao for being there fr mi whn i calld u.n fr tellng mi nt to thnk so much.thanks fr lettng mi cry.

thanks justin.fr tellng mi d truth.though it hurt so bad.also thanks fr lettng mi cry ovr d fone and givng mi silence to help calm mi dwn.i REALLY thankyou fr tellng mi d truth.or i'll nvr knw.d silence also helpd.thanks kor((: dun worry too much bout ******.talk to her this sat.i'm sure she has her reasns.dun lose her keh?

thanks angela for drawing tat smiley face,thanks mt fr talking to mi fr so long.n trying to crap some stuff to cheer mi up.though it din work.sorry fr breakng dwn ovr d fone.yuh.thanks to jeff fr sms-ing mi encouragement.and fr being strict w/me.by sayng u wnt friend mi if i slash agn):

oh yuh.* and jeff.i've alrdy promised u ppl i wnt slash.i'm tryng nt to yuh? TRYING.

we jst finished captn's ball.yuh.won 2 draw 2 and lost 1.hai.i din rly have d mood to play.bt if i dun play.idk.i feel so trappd.wna play bb.though its mre tiring.running up n dwn d court continuously,bt at least u CAN DRIBBLE!!!!uhhuh.

"you knw how our love was meant to be,
kind of love that last forever.
and i want u here with me,
from tonight until the end of time.
you should knw,everywhere i go.
always on my mind,in my heart,in my soul.

You're d meaning in my life,u're d inspiration.
u bring feeling to my life, you're d inspiration.
You bring feeling to my life You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you

And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see
We're so in love when we're together
And I know that I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind, in my heart In my soul
You're the meaning in my life You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you"

i rly love dis song loads.yuh.idk why.bleh.i HEART one of d blink 182 song too.it's called "here's your letter".yuh.the lyrics r rthr nice.THATS D SONG I WAS TALKIN BOUT, MT.

its time to let go.i'm tryng very hard nt to think about it.yuh.i wont evr have anymre bfs fr the time being.

gawd.its just killing mi seriously.

2005-10-13T09:27:00.000+08:00

hey its been long since i updated.uhhuh.well.monday aft exam i went to watch corpse bride.it's reali nice.haar.den tue i went to ecp.gawd.grace got sun burnt.and ytd i went to sentosa and got sun burnt.which is kinda pain.so ya.here are the photos we took in sentosa.yup.

on the shuttle bus service to sentosa.

my legs being buried with my name on top.

jia, mindy, jiaying and the LEGLESS me.

haar.TEAM SPIRIT?

jia yi, jia ying and mindy acting cool.

the four of us.dun ask why my eyes are closed.

tryin to do synchro.haa.dun ask why my eyes are closed AGAIN.

tryin to do push ups in the sea.

jasmine and i in the middle of the sea taking foto o.O

jia and i trying to do backarches ((:

jia with my sunglasses.

mi with my sunglasses.

mindy and jiaying in harbour front centre food court.

mi the red crab and jia the red lobster.hehheh.

oh ya.and there's this foto i took at ecp.was at the jetty and this guy caught this QUEEN FISH.tsk.it was damn big.look at it.

haarrr.uhhuh.tats about all.only that my sunburnt areas reali hurt.

2005-10-07T10:49:00.000+08:00

zZz.finally math paper is ovr.i'm lyk stayin in skool cause SOMEBODY hasnt reach the bus stop yet.zZz.the math paper was a killer laa.but idky i'm not affected by it.lynette said she couldnt concentrate during the whole paper cause she was thinking of mt.sheesh.anyways.andrea n jia wer reali upset.yea.

HEY! CHEER UP.you still got the weekends to study.dun worry.ya.JIAYOU for your science.quickly study ya?you two are much beta den mi in almost eerythin.zZz.SMILE((:

i just checked my mark sheet.and my average is lyk.60? o.O stupid laa.

i tink i'm REALLY UNLUCKY today laa.mornin when i came downstairs and i was walking towards the dining table, a stupid cockroach appeared.STUPID.den when i reach the bus stop den mummy msg mi and asked if i brought my calculator.fuk laa.i din bring.bo bian must go home and take laa.zZz.

feel so stupid.tsk.mayb i shld reali start working hard.and i'll make that ass jayson feel that he is SO stupid that he ought to be shot dead.he should have died long ago i guess.zZz.

tian's somewhere at her friends hse i tink.tat is if her paper has ended.yea.i'm feeling damn sleepy laa.WONDER WHICH PART OF SINGAPORE HE IS IN NOW.stupid.

last time my posts all used to be filled with fuk fuk fuk.now it's stupid stupid stupid.
hai.idk laa.everything's so stupid.hate it.

cant wait for my sci paper to end.den it'll be PLAYTIME!!!!
woohoo.only tat val says she's sick.and might not be able to go out.bleh.
nvm.i just asked da da jie.LYNNIE.haar.she said she'll go if she can.yea xD

EXAMS ARE JUST SO SUCKY LA.idiot.

2005-10-03T10:19:00.000+08:00

today's the start of exam week.bleh.i just finished my paper one.later's gonna be paper two.luckily it's lyk.HE din occupy my mind today.idk if i have given up on HIM.smiling buddha.spent the whole nite LECTURING ME.haaa.mayb not lecturing.but idk.

stupid arnold.trying to curse mi ytd and today.he said i will fail ytd.den i scolded him ass and i said i hope he retains.tis mornin he say i will fail den i scolded him fuk laa.n he still say i vulgar.grrr.

later's compre, summary and vocab.bleh.DIE LAR.i wonder when his exams start O.O
mayb it's no longer my prob.marcus said.that my previous post, the mind, sounds more realistic.I KNOW.but i cant accept reality.sheesh.

stupid.i wished matthew, jerome, billy, arnold, marcus, zac good luck.i only got replies from.billy, arnold and zac.grrr.MATTHEW AND JEROME DIE ALREADY AH?
i have this feeling that jayson told matt.to ignore mi.fuk off.

okeh let's think.7 more days till the last paper.hmmm.must keep calm.i'm not being nervous of the exam.i'm being nervous cause i get to play finally.YAY!
exams over=go out play=go out hun4=get into bad co? O.o

bleh.stupid laa.i hate it.

2005-10-01T21:01:00.000+08:00

My mind's in a whirl, my heart - undecided.
Whom should i follow?
Whom should i trust?

My heart tells me :
"He loves you.seriously.He doesnt wanna be apart from you.
He needs to study.If you love him, you will understand him.
He's thinking of your future, the both of you.
Don't let him go but wait for him.

You've known him for quite awhile.
Surely you know that the both of you are linked by a feeling,
felt only in the heart.
That feeling is called --love

Remeber the times you shared together?
You two were the Gemini Twins.
Whatever he feels, you feel it too.
Both of you are of the same mind and soul.

This is a test,
to see how strong your love can be.
How long it can last
Be strong and don't let this love waiver,
don't let it fall apart.

Dont let your imagination run wild.
You know he still loves you, you can feel it.
So why give up?
Just hang in there.

Let the love, THIS love, last for eternity.
Endure the pain you feel,
the lonoliness you have to go through.
Love him with all your heart and soul.

For he'll return to be our angel once more.
Very soon."

My heart comforts me with these.
And i feel really at ease.
However my mind's thinking of other thoughts,
which consists of reality too.

My mind tells me :
"He doens't love you.
If he does, why did he leave?
To study for o levels is just an excuse.
Stress out is even worse.

If he loves you,
he won't wanna break.
Why tear apart the heart,
of the girl he loves?

It's so obvious he doesn't love you,
so just let him go.

He promised to stay by your side didn't he?
But where is he now?
Was he there when you were crying?
Did he comfort you when you got scolded?

The answers are all NO.
so why bother about him?
Let him go and start life afresh.
He ain't worth your tears.

You should stay strong.
Forget about him.
He isn't serious at all.
It was a goddam joke.

Why would he leave you when you needed him the most?
Why would he NOT reply you?
Why didn't he reply your email?
why didn't he called you?

Why did his friends say he changes girlfriends like clothes?
Why is he ignoring you?
Why did his friends say that he was lying to you?
That his handphone was not confiscated at all?

Cause the answer is simple -- he doesn't love you anymore."

Whom am i to believe?
Should i let go or hold on?
I love him deeply,
but the pain of separation is too much to bear.

I just need to talk to him -- my angel dar.
I LOVE YOU <3

2005-09-27T07:40:00.000+08:00

RED EYES.

tat's wad i'm having now.sheesh.i tink.aft today i beta stop wearing contacts for awhile.ya.

mei arh.give it up laa.the more u hold on.;the more painful it becomes.yup.jie's here supporting you.

uhhuh.i've found jayson's foto.bleh.stupid.made mi so upset.later i'l go upload his foto.

shujun's a poop!(written by sheryl)
HELLO im a frog(written by jiayi)
hello i m bob
this is my friend JOE:).(written by sheryl)

hello this is MY blog.
fine i'm back to type IN PEACE.idl my red eyes.looklyk some monster or smth.-roars.
haaa.MAD me.jasmine's at my seat again.

meet my immaginary friend JUDE :D unfortunately i lost him..
hmm.. where are you?! i'll give you a nice big hug if you find him
-jiayi

bob says hi to shujun but she's ignoring me. HMMPH
-sheryl

i wanna type in PEACE i repeat.
-me

ok. i'll give u PEAS.
-sheryl

sheesh.i wanna stay here.jia's goin mad.she's reali mad.spoilt radio.

*DAisy AND elephant beauty pagent
if you were given one wish in the world what would it be?
"WORLD PEASSSSSS!"
-jiayi

bleh.having headache.LEAVE ME ALONE.

i've got lots of things to say to my dar.but nvm.igu.i wont care anymore.
zac's another jerk =X sorry zac but it's TRUE.
-pokes you.
u only care how u feel laas. I DIN SAY ANYTHIN.fuk.

haa.val din see the last word i type okeh? -okeh.
VAL REMEMBER OUR PROMISE!! -okeh.

zac cant meet mi today.sian.cause he just refuses to take a taxi here.idiot him.
val's feeling bored.uhhuh.

i miss my gemini twin.hai.we always go "uhhuh uhhuh" over the fone.bleh.
when can i see him again? i have no idea.

WHY CANT YOU JUST LET ME GO? all i did was to love you.is there somethin wrong with that?
i'm lettin val listening to the scotty doesnt know song.
val: OH MAN.so bain tai.

haaa.its a reali nice song keh? :))
cant wait for examz to be ovr.i'm not even studying.
fuk ass left mi b4 examz.woohooo.
CREDITS GO TO HIM IF I ALL MY EXAMS.

VAL SAID I'M GONNA GET DEAF ONE DAY.
HELOOOOOOO.ARCADE MUSIC IS MUCH MUCH LOUDER.

haaa.val says her head is aching.uhhuh. jiu bai wo wei shi.let mi teach u how to tahan LOUD rock music.
BAHHHHH -val

hehheh.idc. ALL THE GUYS ARE JUST SOME FUKING ASSHOLE RETARDS.
YAY!!!!
-sadist ME((:

muahahahahahaha.
val's suppose to ask her mum if she can come to my hse to stay overnight.
gai's suppose to come to my hse for lunch.
denise and tian r coming to my hse to stay overnight.
tian is staying for a few nights tis time.

OH SHIT.i still must organise the class 0utgin.yawns.
the com table just turned GREEN.
THANKS TO VALERIE CHEW!!

we're the absolute retards.who's the we?
idk.val's THE retard.
see? she's smacking my head with a paper and MESSING UP MY NICE HAIR.
yay!! val's gone!
THANKYOU-val

noooo.she's back.sniff.-wails

i'm thinking how long i can take to write this post.
retard val is trying to make mi covered with marker ink.
ewwww.

sci cher nv come.so we got free one period.
and a guy by the name of ZACHARY LOH.
fromm ST.PATRICKS.
it's suppose to msg mi aft his assembly.
which OBVIOUSLY HE HAS NOT!

i seriously love my dar at times.but sometimes i hate him.uhhuh.
he's suppose to be my twin.
retard.he beta get into njc or i wont let him off if he goes to a POLY.grrr.

I JUST REMEMBERED.
aft exams i gotta call the cher in njc.to go for training.hai.
training's NOT nice w/o my dar laas.
but nvm.i'll train hard just for him.
i'm NICE.

the marker's STINKS LAAAAHHHH.
I SILL NEED TO STUDY MY DEARRRRR VALLLLL!!!!!hoho.

dun give mi that diao look.hmmph.

val:/studyyy is drivuiib ne mad

yea.can tell that u r mad already.bleh/

sshall type NONESENSE
BAGBDSAFHFHWEIJFJIEW.

mad you.shoo! i'm done with my msg to zac.yawns.seriously tired.getting sick of everythin.

eh val!!!if i got competition u must go watch keh? waah.you just drew on my head.sniff.
*hand not head
oh fine.hand.
ANSWER MEE/
fine dun watch dun watch laa.hmmph.

go rot away.dun stay near mi.cause the process of rotting STINKS.
its true.

ilu dar.
tc during your night diving tching in the hols.ya.
NIGHT DIVING IS DAMN DANGEROUS YOU KNOW.
uhhuh.

bong's hopeless laa.sheesh.
wish i can call my dar.
and tell him that I LOVE HIM((:

2005-09-26T18:17:00.000+08:00

i din post during the weekends.sigh.loads of things hpn.

dar left.he said he needed to concentrate on his studies.well.i was rather upset.until tis aftnoon.i felt much beta aft sendin him the email.yups.he's lyk the only guy who eva make mi cry in class n in public places.bleh.i was crying during language arts and recess.hai.it's time i let go.
and just wait for his reply.yup.

zac's with his australian frien or smth.or watchin movies with his friens.FINE!
go ahead.he's lyk always leaving mi alone.n when i show him atti den he'll say sorry.fuk laa.

i'm taking mu fucked up life AWAY from guys.
cause they just make my life worse.

terri's rite.i ought to keep to my new yr's resolution.grrr.
FUCKTARDS.

i just cant continue this way.yea.
LET GO((:

thanks jia and mei for giving mi support all these while.
and of course.
my dear tian((:

2005-09-26T11:52:00.000+08:00

haiiss.. finalli gorrt time to use com lerhhs.

shu jun arhhs.. euu dunnch think shho much wors. just concentrate on studies, kaes?

gorrt to go lerhhs. lesson ending soon.. hahaas. sorrie.. try to use com agaiin this weekend.. =))

2005-09-23T09:54:00.000+08:00

yawns.FINALLY.i talked to dar over the fone.bleh.he's rather upset.cause he's scared he will retain.but i told him.i believe in him.and he can do it.dar's opting out of the skool bb team to concentrate on his studies.i tink.HUGS.try ur best to go into njc.and i will make the cher put u on the team and put u in the same club as mi.ya.but if u wanna go poly.go ahead.i wont stop u.ya.

thanks justin for warnin mi tat my mum was waitin for mi under my blk ytd.

thanks zac for always walkin mi home.and lending mi your warm arm when i was freezing.
idw tis to hpn.its hurting mi alot.to see you crying.idk wad to say to u.

i'm listening to marcus' ipod now.it's running out of batt.AAHHH.NOOO.bleh.
hate tis life of mine.serious.

zac told mi to choose.i told him.i choose to opt out from both.tats all.
hate it hate it hate it.

2005-09-22T09:47:00.000+08:00

ytd kor and mummy was waitin oustide my skool.idk why.ya.den i went with zac.

zac.i din mean to lie to you.i'm sorry.hugs.i din noe u read those letters actually.but i hope u blive mi yah? SORRY.

dar.idk wad i'm goin to do if u go overseas to teach diving.sniff.IDW TO BE SEPARATED.sheesh.
i tink i'll just rot at home.u're goin night diving.tat's reali dangerous.pls tc keh? i dun wan to have to go to the sea to find my dar.i wan my dar to come back IN ONE PIECE AND FIND ME.u promised and u beta keep tat promise.though i'm DAMN PROUD OF YOU.tat doesnt mean i wanna see your name on the headlines in the newspaper.haaa((:

MARCUS (smiling buddha) simply rocks laa.this mornin he was sittin bside mi.and then both of us were listenin to my discman.den it ran out of batt ya.so we listen to his ipod instead.den i asked " can i bring your ipod to skool?" i expected him to say no.but he said YES.i was clearly shocked laa.haa.listenin to his ipod now.la la la.YOU ROCK MAN.i tink i'll return it to u aft skool.since SOMEONE.doesnt have to go skool tmr.grrr.den u'll get to see zac.uhhuh.meeting zac later.sigh...................

denise.not tat idw msg u or anythin.its too much things r hpn-in and idk how to explain.ya.i'm sorry my hon.you're always my hon keh? nth will change.i promise.

uhhuh zac just replied.WHY DID WE BECOME SO COLD.sheesh.i hate it.

DAR I REALLY HAVE NO MORE MONEY.shit laas.it's been.4 days 3 nights since i last talked to you and hear your voice.sheesh.i miss you.LOADS.SHY DAR.haaa.

pppippipipipippipippippipipppipippiipipipipiipippippippipipipipipipipipipiipippippipipipipippipipi
pppipipipipipippipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipippi.......................

idk wad to write. there are lots of things i have to say to zac and dar.face to face.later i can tel zac.cause he's fetchin mi home.but dar.hai.I ONLY CAN MEET YOU AFTER EXAMS.sheeshl.but if u get into njc.we'll be together EVERYDAY.even go for bb trainings together.woohoo! xD

i fell apart.
but.
with your patience and tolerance.
you pieced mi back together.
despite all i did to stop the pain.
you stayed by my side.
now that i'm holding your hand.
i will never let go of it.
i'll not let history repeat itself.
again.
simply cause.
i love you.

2005-09-21T12:11:00.000+08:00

ytd.jiayi and i went to kap to study.who knows that THAT BI**H was waitin outside my skool.i oso dun care.den in the mornin.TAT bastard.asked mi if i can meet him in kaps.i din bother to reali care.ya.i tol justin and zach to come along too.

fukin BITCH.was sittin bhind mi.i din reali care.den justin told mi that tat BASTARD was dwstrs.with carol.fuk laas.idc.haa.i told justin and zach to come up.zach was sittin bside mi while justin sat bside mi.uhhuh.then that BITCH.just told mi to go liao.bo bian la.go then go.fuk.i was listenin to ah boy's ipod.haa.

SORRY JUSTIN.i din do anythin.serious.all i did was take ah boy's blade.i DIN do anythin.reali.haa.

hmm.ytd was reali a bad day.zach knows roughly how my past was lyk.dar too.they both wer tryin to comfort mi.DAR DONT CRY.sorry for makin u cry.dun be sad.SMILE.i'm here.'

but later in the nite.THE FUKING HEAD OF THE HOUSE.said tat he's gonna go stop mi from goin to skool.zach just.LEFT ME ALL ALONE.fuk laa.at least my dar.was there supportin mi.
he was there.crying agains O.O idw my dar to cry.sheesh.but he stayed up till late nite.supportin mi and comfortin mi.THANKYOU.dar you're reali the best ya?

tis mornin i saw gabs again.FINALLY.but he was.pratically ignorin mi the whole bus journey laa.fuk.he din even smile.sheesh.KICK HIS ASS.haa.

den SMILING BUDDHA GOT ON 852.smiling buddha beta tag my board.grr.i let him listen to the song.SCOTTY DOESN'T KNOW.he said it was nice.uhhuh.OBVIOUSLY IT WAS NICE.haa.

dar's reali nice today.DONT DROOL ON ME!!! ewww.gross.
-stuff tissue into your mouth.

hehheh.DAR'S SIMPLY THE BEST! GO YOU.
dar agreed to try his best to go into njc.then we can go trainin for bb together.idw to train with other guys.
i only wan my daaaaar.yay.listenin to the song i <3 loads.haa.

zach apologised.but idk.i've not been sleeping for two nights.yup.din even finish my lunch and dinner ytd.yawns.ah boy.sayin sorry is no use.the damage's done.all i can say is tat.
i'm reali tired.dun wan to tink so much.so ya.

i'll try to forget wad hpn ytd.budden.sorry if i'm treatin u reali COLD.
i cant help mi.YOU just LEFT mi all alone.sigh.idk.YOUR choice.yuh.tc of yourself.

uhhuh.i simply love my dar.I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN A MIX SCHOOL ALL ALONG.ooops.SORRY.haaa.din noe tat u were in a gay skool too =X

i'm seriously goin deaf.playin my discman FULL BLAST wherever i am.and i just keep repeatin the song.i'm goin MAD.yay.my dar's mad too.he told mi to get down on the dance floor tis mornin.idm.haa.can pon skool.hohoho.

idk wad to say to zach later.AAAAH.sheesh.hope matthew doesnt read my letters to dar.bleh.
i feel so shitty.
zach said.he felt real bad just now.cause i'm always there for him but he's never there for mi.idk laa.dun reali care.
as long as my dar is with mi.i'm satisfied.
dar's cute.he was lyk encouraging mi ytd.and he was lyk.
"i wna you to have a beta future.i will never drop out cause i have to give you a good future and life."
"but wad about your future? our future? our kids?"

cute.
haaa.he's actually talking about.

OUR KIDS? O.O

2005-09-20T07:49:00.000+08:00

uhhuh.I'M SO IN LOVE WITH THE SONG.SCOTTY DOESN'T KNOW.
YAY!!!!!

[Scotty doesnt know]

Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me
Do it in my van every Sunday.
She tells him she's in church but she doesn't go
Still she's on her knees and Scotty doesn't know!
Oh Scotty doesn't know!
So Don't Tell Scotty!
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
So Don't Tell Scotty!
Fiona says she's out shopping,
But she's under me and I'm not stopping...
Because Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know! (X3)
So don't tell Scooty!
Scotty doesn't know!
I can't believe he's so trusting,
While I'm right behind you thrusting.
Fiona's got him on the phone,
And she's trying not to moan.
It's a three-way call and he knows nothing!
Scotty doesn't know!(X3)
So don't tell Scotty!
Scotty doesn't know!(X3)
We'll put on a show!
Everyone will go!
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
Front of a parking lot?
Why not?
It's so fun when you're on top!
It's full on in the snowIf it's a hunk(?)
because Scotty doesn't know!
We did it on his birthday...
Scotty doesn't know!(X4)
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty won't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty's gotta know!
Gotta tell Scotty!
Gotta tell him myself!
Scotty doesn't know! (X10)
[Chant] Scotty doesn't know! (x7)
[Chant] Scotty's gotta go!

haaa.i went to meet zac n justin ytd.I GOT MY LETTER AND CD.haas.zach simply rocks to the high heavens.JUSTIN MATTHEW CHAN.if u dare to do tat.i tell u i'm gonna do it too.grrr.

zach just said.he burned another cd for mi.haa.i'm seriously in love with the song.

DAR DAR.sheesh.my card's runnin out of money.bleh.I LOVE YOU DAR.i woke up at 5am today to msg u kehs.while SOMEONE.is sleepin lyk a pig.hurhur.mwahs.

2005-09-19T10:39:00.000+08:00

BACK IN SKOOL.

ytd i talked to zach twice.and dar in the nite.haaa.CUTE DAR.
we're gonna take neo.uhhuh.

i'm feelin rel tired.forgot to set my alarm clock ytd.den i overslept.till daddy woke mi up.ya.
den chiong lyk siao laa.DAR and i r reali twins.we both had.tummy pains in the mornin.yea.

ah ma says that dar looks innocent.and this is the first time i found a bf tat looks innocent O.O
MY DAR IS CERTAINLY NOT INNOCENT.haa.he's just blur.uhhuh.

zachs FUNNY.haaa.create havoc in his hse laa ((: he's reali cute.i keep tinkin he's almost lyk my younger bro.i asked him ytd.whether he wanted to be my kor.he said NO.NEVER.grrr.fine laa.haar.KEEP SMILING BOY.

my contacts are hurtin.owww.i wanna take it out.den i'll only see with one eye.haar.GO me.
AH BOY REMEMBER TO PASS MI MY CD AND LETTER TMR KEH?
sorry i cant meet you.ya.we'll meet aft exams keh.

i love my dar.hohoho.FOUND THE COURAGE? tats cuuuuute.
uhhuh.i'm simply slackin.i cant think.my brain is dead.yay.

JIAYI I REALI DUNNO WAD TO DO.sheesh the com has a ghost.cause the mouse arrow just flew across the screen.and nobody is touchin the mouse O.O

GHOSTS!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
dar's suppose to evaporate and come to float here and find me.i still dun see him anywhere.haaa.

zach and i came out with "THE STORY OF AH BOY AND GIRL" haaas.the story has a happy ending aft two yrs.haa.

uhhuh.dar will only be msgin mi at nite.cause his card no more money.ya.
bleh.I WAN MY DAR.

grace was readin thru my msg-es just now O.O i see lynette walkin past.and we are talkin to each other.by shoutin across classrooms.cause she is in hers and i am in mine.haa.
LYNETTE WONG! did u and MING TAK STEAD? dun hide things from mi.i'll be reali hurt.

tian already seems to have forgotten mi?hai.tink i will call her tonite.i miss her.seriously.
XINTIAN YOU ARE ALWAYS MY BESTIE.I PROMISE((:

lynette.is suppose to come into MY classroom.grrr.but idk where she is.yawns.
zac's takin ages to reply.suddenly.i rmb my (used to be) baby arnold.wonder how he is now.kinda miss him i guess.sheesh.lynette's shouting and askin whether i died yet.i'm gonna find her now.grrrr.

2005-09-18T14:54:00.001+08:00

ytd.zach was in a horrible mood durin the nite.in the aftnoon.we were still talkin on the fone and laughin n crappin.den he said some weird stuff.SAD STUFF.and obviously it PULLED MY MOOD TO BELOW ZERO.yuh.in the end.idk wad hpn.but i laughed.serious.denise said.i needed to go for therapy.i laughed.at the plight i was in.idk how to cheer zach up.bleh.i kept laughin when i was suppose to be cryin.

sheesh.den at nite DAR caled mi.uhhuh.YOU SOUND SO FAKE.haa.dar said he can talk halfway and fall asleep.i told him if he did tat.i wont talk to him.and there was no response.grrr.FAKER.haas.

i stayed up the whole nite.till arnd.2.30 b4 i slept.was tinkin bout wad zach said.i'm seriously goin mad.

today we had to wake up reali EARLY to go church.i wanna go KEP.WITH MY PIGELO HON.sheesh.she's still there now.i wanna go.uhhuh.but i stayed in church.for my dar's sake.he wanted mi to stay there.haa.zach still pretty upset.idk.he wans to be left alone.to tink bout smth.let him be.i wont probe.

dar and i ARE REALLY GEMINI TWINS.haa.we went for lunch aft church (not together) den both of us ate chicken rice at coffeeshops.haa.and wer at diff parts of s'pore.haaa.dar's suppose to call mi when i reach home.but i tink.he fell asleep again.i told him to get onto the dancing floor with mi.sheesh.YOU'RE GONNA BECOME A PIG.hee.

dar said he'll hoot any guys who touches mi O.O
i said i'll slap any gal who touches him O.O
dar's married to bb.so am i.but dar said he'll rather divorce with bb.den leave mi.
uhhuh.KEEP TRUE TO YOUR WORD.

zach aint replyin too.idk why.i'll give him ONE WEEK of peace.
for tis whole week.i wont meet him.wont talk to him.wont reply him.
let him tink thru.wad i say.ya.
AH BOY.I'M DEAD SERIOUS.IN EVERYTHIN I SAID.
ah girl will still stay here. just in case.

i'm reali tired now.
emotionally and physically and mentally.
take a break.have a KIT KAT((:

2005-09-18T14:54:00.000+08:00

2005-09-17T15:29:00.000+08:00

UH HUH.

i had my piano exam ytd.PON SKOOL.it went reali sucky laa.hoho.den daddy and i waited for jiayi.to go nan xiao.yea.den we went to coro to eat at cosy corner.

THEN CAME ANOTHER JIA((:haaa.it's jiacong.frm RGS.yea.she's crap too.we went nan xiao again.wer playing bb.i feel damn poser laa.i couldnt get tat stupid ball at pt A!!!

den we went back to nanyang.ya.jayson was watitin for me at the chi high bus stop.yaa.and there was this guy.wearin white shirt and blue pants.den i was lyk O.O cause tat certainly does not sound how my dar shld look lyk.haaa.i'm PROUD of my dar keh?den i walked i saw another guy wearin white shirt and blue pants too.TAT'S MY DAR.hehheh.the two JIAs were saying HELLO to him.he din noe wad to do.haa.

we crossed the bridge to ny tat stop.DADDY WAS THERE.uhhuh.
JIAyi went "HELLO UNCLE!"
JIAcong went "YO! UNCLE!"
=.=
haaa.i intro jayson to daddy.uhhuh.den daddy went home.ya.
den we went to the gym.hoho.jiayi threw the ball.and it hit MY DAR'S KNEE O.O
den JIAcong.wanted to jump on the tramp.but she had no shorts.so i lent her mine.

we went to the FOURTH storey to STRIP.haa.i threw one of my sneakers down.cause i couldnt be bothered to wear.den the two JIAs used JIA cong's pinafo (however u spell this) and make it lyk a safety net.i threw JIA cong's hp down.AND THEY CAUGHT IT.haaa.JIAyi took my sneaker.and throw into the sponge thingie.

den we went to watch the performance.uhhuh.haaa.and i went out.with jayson.yea.MY DAR.
wer at dunno wa supermarket.den while waitin for him to pay for his water.DAR SAID.i was standing lyk an ah lian.grrr.YOU ARE AN AH BENG HOR.
haaa.we wer suppose to meet lynn.budden.she replied to the wrong fone.so din in the end.den jayson only need to go back by 2am.bleh.so he took 66 with mi home.

on the bus.there's this lady.with PERMED hair.who kept lookin at us.hehheh.den i was standin at the pole.there was this INDIAN GUY.who was takin up ALOT of space.so i AHEM! damn loud.he looked at mi n bo bian must move in.haa.den later he kept moving towards me.i AHEM! again.and he stare at mi lyk i siao gal or smth.haaa.den i had to bring.MY DAR to the mrt station.i was telling him.i am reali tat short that you have to bend down to hug me? O.O

haaa.anyways.I LOVE MY DAR.

2005-09-15T07:03:00.000+08:00

MORNIN EVERYBODY.

ytd.i met justin.den zach.den walking BESIDE THE BOTH OF THEM MAKES ME FEEL SHORT.

haaa.we went to ah boy(zach)'s house. his dog got shaven BOTAK O.O

and i was lyk.taking zach's wallet, undoin his bag.haa.HE IS SCARED OF TICKLES.
uh oh.i'm not suppoose to say tat rite? =X

den i was lyk rushing home.SHE was scolding mi.bleh.i was at the bottom of zach's hse den i said "shit.JUSTIN I DUNNO HOW TO WALK TO THE BUS STOP FROM HERE."

hurhur.fine.i'm BLUR.uh huh.
i kept sayin.fuk you lar.fun tis fuk tat.
told justin.i keep saying fuk.den he said he realised it since i got on the bus O.O

I SIMPLY LOVE MY DAR((:
hohoho.i'm gonna meet him tmr.ah hah.
i'm chewing GUM.

fu quan gave them to me.ya.i saw MARCUS THE SMILING BUDDAH.changin his name to THE SLIDING BUDDAH.h slid down the pole.in the bus. i overslept again.woke up lyk.6.10.when i went downstairs i look at the clock.i was lyk.OH SHIT.I'M GONNA MISS MY BUS.

i'm gonna meet AH BOY later.aft my piano.haas.he's goin to diturb billy and stay in the library while waiting for me.haaa.YOU OWE ME MY LETTER AND MY GOLDEN BADGE!

i'm seriously VERY TIRED.tmr's my piano.sheesh.bleh.ZAC'S NOT REPLYING ME.sheesh.
I LOVE MY ANGEL DAR DAR((:

how am i gonna survive.TWO WHOLE HOURS OF PIANO? sheesh.idw fail.reali.

2005-09-14T09:57:00.000+08:00

ytd i was talkin to zach.he talk damn fast laa.then i was lyk huh huh huh huh.hoho.he's fast at putting the fone down too O.O

den i talked to jason at 7.15 till his tuition cher come.haa.we wer talkin and halfway he went. OH SHIT MY TUITION TEACHER COME ALREADY.hehheh.bad DAR.msg mi during ur tuition.heh.den aft his tuition we talked for another half an hour.yaaas.I WANNA TALK TO HIM FOR HOURS!!!!we're GEMINI TWINS.lol.

i couldnt call zach.heh.cause it was too late.bleh.zach's CRAP.JIA YOU GO JIO TAT GAL YOU LYK!!!
ah girl supportah boy all the way.

i overslept O.O i was tinking.where do i need to go today.cause i COMPLETELY forgot that there is skool today.slept rather late last nite.cause someone was disturbing my mind.hohoho.

den fu quan called mi so EARLY.lol.i din pick up though.yaas.i was walking toward the bus top when i met him.bleh.bong was lyk.leaning on me on the bus.she was standing in front of me.and there's this metal pole bhind me.sheesh.i was SQUASHED.

den i KNOCK MY ELBOW AGAINST THE METAL WINDOW PANE ON 852.DAMN BLOODY PAIN LAAS.
i went temporary mute.too painful.now its still hurtin.den i touched my elbow and felt that it was sticky.
i trun to the window pane and saw scotch tape there so i tot it was from the scotch tape.until i reach skool i saw blood on my finger and i look at my elbow and said.OH SHIT.heh.let it bleed for all i care.

DAR is goin to rot with mi.haas.he say it was gross.FINE.i go find my hon.she said she will rot with mi.heh.

TAT MONKEY STEPPED ON MY LEG AND NEARLY FELL OVER.WOO-HOO! =DDDDD

am waiting for DAR'S recess to come.den can msg.bleh.ZACH TAKES AGES TO REPLY.

shit laas.wanted to go with zach for lunch today.then THAT DAMN WOMAN SAYS SHE AND MY BRO IS COMING TO FETCH ME OUT FOR LUNCH UNDER MY DAD'S INSTRUCTIONS.fuk sia.

i told her.i'm NOT goin anywhere.is either i cancel my piano lesson or i STAY IN SKOOL.ass.

told her STOP CONTROLLING MY LIFE.like WHAT TIME I SLEEP.HOW LONG I TALK ON THE PHONE.TELLING HER WHO I AM SMS-IN AND TALKING TO.fuk off laas.they din even care tat much for my bro la. SOME KIND OF PARENTS THEY ARE.

sheesh.I DUN CARE.

i promised fu quan.i'll go find him aft skool.b4 i go home.said he got the dunno wad trainin.idk how to spell tat word.sheesh.IT HURTS.

raas.my piano's changed.to tmr.yas.
sheesh.i'm feeling reali tired.lynette is.
ignoring me.i guess she is reali angry with mi.hai.
SORRY LYNETTE.

2005-09-13T09:52:00.000+08:00

heez.SORRY jason dar.lol.stupid guy go chiong in the rain go buy top up card.uh huh.DONT FALL SICK O.O or else i'll feel REALI GUILTY.heh.it was fun talkin to u last nite.hohoho.now u noe how i quarrel with my mum.fuk my dad laa.always interfere.or rather.fuk my bro.

everytime always complain.say i use com too long.talk on the fone too long.bill too high.sms too much.FUK LAR.i nv complain tat he can go hong kong and m'sia with his frien.he can stay overnight.he can come home past midnight.he can buy any clothes he lyk.ass hole.

my DAMN bro.SHOUTED at me.once i finished bathing.he went "WHY YOU GO WEAR MY SHIRT AGAIN??!!" fuk laas.HIS shirt was in MY cupboard.and it's so damn OLD laa.i tot it was some pass down or smth.den he keep shouting lor.so i shouted back " MY FAULT ARH? YOUR SHIRT IS IN MY CUPBOARD.HOW THE HELL I KNOW YOU WAN OR DUN WAN?THINK I WAN WEAR YOUR SHIRTS FOR FUN MEH?"

sheesh.jason will only be msg-in me at 10.35.dots.tis mornin.THIS STUPID INDIAN guy.was SMOKING in the lift.fuk lar.and i live at the top floor.so i was practically DYING.in that half a min in the lift.fuk.NO FRESH AIR.if my asthma comes bk.i'll sue tat BLACKIE.grrr.

fu quan was waitn dwnstrs for me.yaas.he's WEIRD.idk.idc anyways.he said.later he'll wait for me at the interchange aft skool.bleh.DYING.

CRAP AH BOY.lol.he's so BLUR.stupid zach.STOP GROWING TALLER! hohoho.you FREAKY guy.last yr i was still taller den you can?haas.

was wndrn.wad wld hpn if i died? lol.idk.MATTHEW SIMPLY IS.idk.lol.dunno wad word to say.

haa.jiayi took my PINK rubberband.and jiajun took my comb o.O

2005-09-12T11:27:00.000+08:00

last christmas
i gave you my heart
and the very next day
you gave it away
this year
to save me from tears
i'll give it to someone special.

once bitten and twice shy
i keep my distance but you still catch my eye
tell me baby
do you recognise me?
well it's been a year
it doesnt surprise me.

merry christmas
i wrapped it up and send it
with a note saying
i love you i meant it
now i know
what a fool i've been
but if you kiss me now
i know you'll fool me again.

fuk off lar you bloody bastard.i hate being lied to.you were the one to spoil our PERFECT friendship.so dun look back and say that it was MY fault.you lied.

LIARS DONT GO TO HEAVEN. lets get retarded in here.ta da ta da.

i wan MY TANN.grrr.
stupid jason.lazy bum dun wan to go top up his card.hoho.
he's crap.
JASON IS A CHOY AH BENG.

oh oh oh
i'm goin out with zac on wed? O.O
idk.lol.if he doesnt lose his way here that is.haaa.
ZACHARY IS A BLUR KING ((:

who else? idk.idc anyways.

i'm her blood sis again.and aint nth gonna change that eva.
NO WAY I WAN:
SEAN TO BE MY BRO
FATS TO BE MY GRANDMA OR SMTH.

lol.at least he REMEMBERS you.damn that fats.grrr.

2005-09-11T09:47:00.000+08:00

WHOAAA.it's been way long since i posted here.tian actually typed one whole new post.which was the longest post she had eva type if i'm not wrong.budden.smth hpn to her com and the whole thing tat she typed was all DESTROYED.haaa.den she said she was reali pissed off and din wanna type again.ya.

it was alex's bday ytd.i couldnt be with him.cant even talk to him.hmmm.am i seriously that hopeless? idk.i cant find where the hell is he!!!and tide isnt helping.grrr.he said he'll find out whether he reali went in and which one did he go to.bleh.

To Alex: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY. though we cant meet.though we cant talk.but as long as i love you and you love me.we'll always know that we're there for each other.

hohoho.anyways.i've been rather harsh to her last nite.ya.but seriously.there's this barrier separating us.you're much closer to them den you are to me.idk.but i shld let go.shldnt i?
its not i dun trust you.but seriously.i'm having a tough time.tryin to forget the past.i've never been able to say it out u noe? anyways.i'm still your jie.ya.

hmmm.tian arh.the bb thingie is ONLY FOR GUYS.grrr.damn them larr.neh mind.i'll go ask my cher in charge.whether you can come to the club tat i will b trainin in.ya.i'll ask for you too lil sis.

life simply sucks.i realised.i'm just forcing my way thru.hmmm.mayb i shld just shut up.and there.DONE. and weilong.stop wasting your time waiting laas.LEARN TO BE MORE SENSIBLE.you think you're gonna wait for me your WHOLE life? mad you.even when you say a few yrs.tat's impossible.lol.now SHOO! dun everytime li siao siao me.msg mi ask if can patch. I DONT WANT.DONT WANT DONT WANT DONT WANT.

i'll rather go ahead and love my GABS.haas.it's been way long since i last saw him.i miss his smile )): tink he is from either acjc or sajc (st.andrew) he simply rocks lar.

i still love my baby dar.ARNOLD =DD
i love him hell lot lar.he cant msg mi now.cause his mum will scold.budden on friday.he msg mi.ya.and b4 he couldnt msg already.he gave mi a hug and a kiss.lol.but i was rather pissed with him.grrr.he said he miss mi.MY FOOT LAR.everytime is i msg him first.hmmph.

i got to noe jason on fri.ya.he's rather nice.and he LOVES BASKETBALL ((:
at least thats MUCH beta den my baby.who keeps sayin that RUGBY is beta den basketball.grrr.it's horrible.haaa.now jason's hi card has no money.yawns.less one person to msg.CHAO BORED la.

just feel lyk telling her.to fuk off.so wad if she's childhood friens with him.tat doesnt mean that she has the priority to snatch HIM away from me and her.doesnt mean she gets first choice.bitch.if u know HE has a gf.den quit bothering him.otherwise you r no diff from a slut.GET IT?

dun go kao bei kao bu la.just admit that u're a bitch.and just TIAM.

2005-09-05T19:46:00.000+08:00

MISS LIM((: our p6 teacher. she simply ROCKS.

MR LAM((: our chinese teacher in p4. he's the HOD of chi too.

XU LAO SHI ((: she's our p6 chi tcher.

FAIZ AND SHUJUN((: faiz is still as cute as ever. *ahem* to xintian.

MDM HAN((: she's our p2 form tcher.

MRS KUMAR((: used to train ShuJun for storytelling competitions.She's the HOD of eng.

MDM ANG. ShuJun's brownies cher-in-charge.she's a guider.

MRS ADNAN((: a cher who's always very cheerful.though she never taught us before.

now u know why xt and i are so close. we were in the same class since p2. ya.we grew up together((:

2005-09-03T23:02:00.000+08:00

ohh my goodness.. it's just a few minutes ago and ii feel like posting darr second time. heeheex. tmd. ii suddenli feel shho du lan with a GUY. i'm starting to HATE hiim norhhs. he SUCKS!

no mood now lorhhs. cause of that guy. i'm actualli shho damn happily thinking of my senior, but because of hiim, my good mood ishh gone larhhs. idiot! my senior rocks! muahahaas. =))

____________ *bye*

2005-09-03T22:50:00.000+08:00

hohoo. ii just realised ii habben been posting ferr a long time, yarhhs? =X heeheex.

but ii just realised blogging ishh such an idiotic stuff to do ferr miee siaax. =X oops.

haiiss. ii should have gone back to dazhong? whatevaa. ii dunnch care. ii didn't regret aniwae. =X

haiiss. i'm seriousli in lurve with one of my seniors in art club lorhhs. my friend told miee i'm alwaes shho excited and enthu when ii shee hiim. heeheex. ii should agree to that arhhs. =X hahaas. ii shouldn't be talking about hiim here.. tell euu more next time barhhs. =))

_________ oops~ gone agaiin? =X

2005-09-02T08:07:00.000+08:00

am kinda sad.nearly cried just now.she's just so cold.hai.

tian's ignoring mi too.i guess.she din reply.bleh.her bro says she's kinda pissed with mi? idk lar.she hasnt reply my msg yet.hai.

goin bak to pri skool is fun.real fun.haas.
gonna put the fotos up when i reach home.yawns.
met lots of ppl.seriously xian yao is still as cute as eva.but still as irritating as eva.
he saw me then went "EH! BOBIN LEH?" kaox.tat was lyk.i was p3 and bobin was in p5? till now.hai.stupid.den i kept giving him a funny look.hohoh.he said he wasnt ref to me.den i told him." wo you lao gong le hor" den i pull yueyin.haas.den lyk now.my jnrs, yueyin is my laogong, meixin is my boyfriend, and yi shan is my lover.haas.

saw fu quan also.he's damn funni.he stopped me half way den he said he got smth to tell mi.den i was lyk "orh" he asked if i had a bf.den i said no.den he just said "den be my stead lar okeh."

tat was a SENTENCE.not a QUESTION.den i said he was mad and touched his forehead to see if he got fever anot.hehheh.he's suppose to wait for mi today in the mornin lar.but idc.i din see him so i left.haaas.EVIL me.i'll just go find him later.i went to find him ytd.but he just dao-ed me lar.so i just walked away and go michelle's hse.haa.he's NOT my stead.i made it clear.

feng is seriously beta looking den.. den... erhh.wad's his name? i forgot.neh mind.i mean michelle's stead.ya.but idk.he's ur stead.NOT MINE.i'm SINGLE.raas.

stupid hou zhi (my chi cher).gave mi an 'E' for my attitude in class.grrr.wads his prob.i tink cause i slept in class twice.eh.but seriously la.i'm lyk sitting rite in front of the class and he nv wake mi up one lor.cause i always am sleeping even b4 he step into class lor.

-rubs eyes.i miss him.bleh.dunno where he is now.
HIS BIRTHDAY IS 9 days later.hai.just wish i can be with him now.

BABY ARNOLD IS SO CUTE.haas.i was planning not to talk to him eva.but hai.SOFT HEARTED.i started talking to him again.he told me he never see an 'E' in his life.and tat i must set a good example for my baby.haas.crap lar.

2005-08-30T08:17:00.000+08:00

bleh.kicks your butt((:
dun hide anythin from me kehs.i'm HERE.waves*
dun shake ur butt at me.ur belt will drop.heh.

i wanna buy ur tat kind of road trip bag.gonna buy aft exams.then when i go for training i can just stuff everythin in there.haas.

haas.goin to beauty world with amandy later.n jiayi too i tink.bleh.
joe's booking out today.and baby arnold's not msgin mi.oinks.some kind of baby he is.hohoho.

CHUA XINTIAN YOU FORGOT TO CALL ME AGAIN!
grrr.shoot u.haar.tink i'm gonna call you on fri.bleh.

i <3 arnold.fine.but i tink i'll rather wait for alex.uh huh.lynette told mi to wait for him.
she said he's a nice guy.idk.his birthday is coming.i really wish to meet him.
by the time he is out.it'll be around one and a half years we are together.ya.i guess.

aft exams i'm goin out with val.straight aft our sci paper (on monday).den on tuesday i'm goin to east coast park with grace and lynette.wer gonna teach her how to ride a bike.uhuh =.=
i seriously feel lyk using someones fone.take a pic of my slashes.and send it to jerome.
nvm.when i go east coast.i'm somehow gonna get him to go there (we aint friends anymore) and i'm gonna give him ONE PUNCH IN THE STOMACH.not fae cause it'll be too obvious.one punch in the stomach and a knee kick in the stomach too.blood asswipe.

i went out with gao ytd.it's her BIRTHDAY((:
den while walkin i saw marcus.i nv talked to him b4.though i noe him since sec1.cause always see him on the bus and he is ty,wj,jw and wy's frien.i tot he was talking to someone.den i was kinda hyper so i was smiling all the time.and marcus said hi.uhhuh.den i said hi back and told him i tot he was talkin to somebody.and i seriously wad MAD.i asked if he wanted to have lunch with us.hohoho.cause we wer goin to KAPs.ya.MAD me lar.

screw you.you are just a flirt.
-slashes.

2005-08-29T07:14:00.000+08:00

She's just ignoring me.i think that she hates me.

well. everyone hates me.i'm ruining everyone's life.

including hers.i tink.i'm losing her.to tat BITCH.

2005-08-28T21:27:00.000+08:00

hai.dun tink it will work out.

dun it tink i shld contact you.

tink we should just stop.

goodbye.i seriously like you.

but i dun wan to land you into trouble.

2005-08-28T14:35:00.000+08:00

i jus hung up.bleh.he says that his mum is back.uhhuh.

love cant be forced you know.so just give up.i simply dun lyk u.so get lost.

BLOODY HELL.i forgot i'm toasting smth.bleh.luckily it's not chao ta.hehheh.

-cough cough.
why is everyone lyk dao-in me? ps-in mi too.fuk.

gonna go out soon.to meet my parents.bleh.tat will be in lyk.in one and a half hours time?
bleh

TRUST is impt
talking to my act cute kor now.keep laughing.iHEARTyou juowei((:

2005-08-27T22:01:00.000+08:00

i simply LOVE talkin to arnold((: talked to him for lyk one and a half hours? from 9.30 to 11 plus.ya.raas.

SORRY LYNETTE)): pls cheer up ya? he's horrible.i'm here for YOU.

todays i talked to arnold for lyk.2hours plus? hurhur fom 7plus to 10pm.heh.his mum said he's been talking to long.lyk wad lar? is ME ME ME ME ME talkin.not HIM.bleh.YOU LIED.sobs.i teared while talkin to u keh.or rather almost cryin.i din noe u will lie to mi.grrr.

they knw lots of stuff.bleh.they found out i slash and stuff.

ARNOLD YOU ARE SO CUTE((: DA SHUAI GE
weet-oh-weet!hehheh.gonna call him at 4pm tmr.

2005-08-25T07:15:00.000+08:00

uh huh.

in skool now. in 202.hurhur.my classroom suck.simply cause there are ppl hogging on the com always. i put denise's foto UP.haaas.she's lyk so damn chio keh.dun come arguing with mi.cause it is the truth.yawns.

lynette's takin my fone.raas.joe ask mi to0 pon skool and go to his hse.erhh.he said he will pay for my taxi fares and make breakfast for me.dots.lynette's looking at my gallery.she saw HIS foto and the wallpapers HE sent me.idk.

slashes on my arm.raas.

2005-08-24T20:31:00.000+08:00

i'm glad u shared ur stuff and how u feel.it's safe with mi.i promise.

dun blame mi for puttin this here.ya.u put mine too((:

sometimes its hard for me.to deciphir the clues.but sometimes.i just have to let go.sometimes.i cant control myself.sorry.

i HAD to slash.i slashed infront of lynette.she was reali angry.sorry lynette and ah ma.

i just dunno.ppl are telling mi the same things.nobody noes how i feel.serious.or rather.they dun care.nvm.

there are only two things that can cheer mi up a bit.tat is bb and tat cute guy.i went to c the cher-in-charge of bball ytd.he was reali nice.ya.said he'll put mi in skool team.playin centre.ya.cause if my height.bleh.and tat he's gonna let mi join a club.ya.means tat.i wont b playing skool comps only.i will b playing external comps too.ya.tat's smth to b happy about.
idk.i'm just having mixed feelings.

let mi go.

2005-08-23T09:54:00.000+08:00

heh.its been a LONG time since i post.yups.ytd i went to turf city.IN A TAXI.with denise and jiayi.uh huh.STOP SLASHING.ya.i noe its kinda cool pattern but.idk.YOUR penknives are with ME now though.u buy i take.haas.dun cut seriously.

I SAW THAT OH-SO-CUTE guy at the bus stop today.i couldnt help smiling.omg.he's so SWEET AND GOOD LOOKING.haas.he kept looking back at me.raas.but den he went up 985.he norms take 947.idk.i waited for 947 den i got onto the bus.den at the stop outside westmall he was standing there.i was lyk prayin "dun get on dun get on." cause i noe i cant make it in time to the interchange to take 852.but he got on and i get off.den he was looking at me get off.SO SADDENING.waah.he is lyk.occupying my mind now <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
lynette says i shld go say hi to him next time.aileen says i shld say:"hi.why do you always keep looking at me? etc etc" MAD.dun ask aileen for advice =X

i went mad with my cam.ya.Yi xiao forgot to off the flash when she took pictures in class.dots.i'll out up the fotos in friendster soon.ya.val's lyk takin MY fotos now.dots.its runnin out of batt.i wanna take foto with nese((:

CHUA XIN TIAN YOU BETA STOP USING MY FULL NAME OR I'LL TELL CHUA KIA DONG OR JEFFERY THAT YOU LOVE THEM.OR ELSE I'LL TELL AIMAN OR ASRI.GRRR.
tian's a real meano when she blogs.but when i go out with her seh cant b a meano to me.cause she cant beat mi in arguing((:

simply STINK to the high heavens.ppl are lyk askin mi.when's the next class outin.lyk HELLO? i've organised the last two lar.fine.if i am to organise again( n mayb foreva) now is only.AUGUST.exams not yet over yet.bleah.stupid jiahong.stupid hillgrove sec.exams over alrdy.hurhur.

freak.i'm simply IN LOVE with him.reali. <3.<3

2005-08-21T16:49:00.000+08:00

I'M IN LOVE WITH PURPLE! heeheex.

hmms. seriousli, ii have no mood in blogging nowadays. it's so damn boring larhhs. haiiss.

ii dunnch want to go out with euu, shu jun, and denise norhhs. arrghs. both of euu are like so damn tall and i'm darr onlee short one. yucks. ii can't imagine that. *ohh my gosh*

yeahs~

________________ i'm gone. =))

2005-08-20T19:13:00.000+08:00

u noe wad? i'm gonna go for A div' trainin once exams are over. the coach said.i could go for trainin next mon((: haas. i'm just so happy.serious.

ytd tian and i were out till lyk 9plus.i only went bk lyk 10? got jiekai to pass me his yr book.raas.he looked so blur lar.was lyk under my blk n looking for me.hurhur.BLUR KING((:

tian and i were lyk walking all arnd lot1 and westmall HOLDING HANDS.haas.lesbians?idk.

suckers.life simply sucks.fark off.tat's all.

2005-08-19T11:33:00.000+08:00

GONNA BE OUT THE WHOLE DAY((:

from 6.10 am to maybe 10pm? hurhur.theyre gonna be runnin cross country today.knw?i aint runnin.heh.i'm VOLUNTEERED for duty.raas.but got chi ku oso.FULL UNIFORM.bleah.tat's so hot.

addie n lynnie n me.are goin to PARAGON.hurhur.but addie says lynnie's gonna go home n bather.raas.and addie says they might b goin with the sec3 batch.both oso ps me.bleah.idc.if they're not goin, i'll b goin with JIAYI((:

there's no cher in class.mr.tan's sick.he went to see the docs.

SERIOUSLY SHOOT ALL THE BIRDS LAR. BLOODY HELL.on tue come and eat my lunch. today come and shit on my table. damn those BIRDSSSSSSSS!!!!! (the keyboards gonna spoil.i'm lyk.hitting it REAL HARD.)

idk wad's hpn-in to my life.everyone's dao-in mi.lynette, jiayun, charrissa and aileen are nice((:
damn that jerome.screwed my life.damn everybody. damn me.

gonna go out with tian later for dinner.yupp.we dk where to go and eat.raas.ah ma, andrea and me are lyk so MAD today.ah ma says i'm in a good mood. well obviously.idh to run n lyk squeeze with so many ppl.but goin home.hai.gonna wait for a few buses b4 i can board la.i'm considerin takin taxi to go meet tian.

tian must bring the ring.heh.PUNCH PPL AND LEAVE THREE DOTS((:
(only tian will understand wad i'm talking about)

sometimes i really hope that she will share her problems with mi.and not lyk get upset.but she wont.idk.cant control her life anyways.i aint gonna interfere anymores.yuppz.

hurhur.i told weijie ytd.tat i was les.and he din wanna reply me.idiot.then i said he had a gf.he said no.den i said fine.you got a GIRL THAT YOU LYK. den he wont say anythim.STUPID WEIJIE.

i've avoided that JERK for ONE WHOLE WEEK((: i'm proud of myself.even paul is tryin to avoid him.hurhur.
he ought to have his hp confiscated.mad guy lar.one day can send lyk 5 bo liao msges to all my THREE fones.idiot guy.den when i check all three, i'll keep saying the same msg-es THREE TIMES.irritating jerk.i dun reply he come calling me.bloody hell.KICK HIM DOWN THE BUS NEXT TIME I SEE HIM.

raas.jiayi's lyk KICKING the chair.ah ma's lyk HITTING my LEFT(mind YOU) shoulder.both of them i owe testiomonials.heh.

OWWWW.

2005-08-18T09:44:00.000+08:00

screwed life.

sheesh.jerome ought to be kicked in the ass.i'm seriously considering to ask lynette to go kick it.since she lives so near st pats and justin REFUSES to touch him.idiots. st pats guys are SCREWED JERKS WITH NO HEART. got eaten by dogs i tink.

ooKICKING PEOPLES ASS IS NICE CAN? SCREW THEIR BRAINS ALSOoo

i'm not finding lynette today i tink.raas.i went to find her in the mornin already((: dun worry.he's just bein a jerk.idm YOU bein MY frien.HUGS.in fact i find them REAL COOL.serious.they look nice((:

i've lost my mind.serious.i cried last nite.idk why.

i feel lyk i am.bein torn apart.nothin can patch me back.forget it.nobody cares anyway.ther all.FAKERS.

one by one.they entered my life.

one by one.i trusted them.

one by one.they started to lie.

one by one.they hurt me deep.

one by one.they scolded me.

one by one.they ignored me.

one by one.they changed my life.

one by one.they left me here.

one by one.they screwed my life

one by one.they tear me apart.

SLOWLY.till now.

i'm nth.but in ruins.

GO AWAY/

2005-08-17T15:52:00.000+08:00

i'm seriously very tired.

Jerome's finally decided to change.well tat's good.i'm eva so PROUD of him.ya.

lil sista is gettin real good with HIM now.ya.mantain it tat way.

i passed my chi((:

i avoided that JERK for 3 days now.

life just goes on.raas.we had TWO WHOLE HOURS OF SCIENCE.can u blive it?ah ma said she's gonna fall asleep.me too.bleah.

LYNETTE'S SERIOUSLY GONE MAD.idk.she seems more despo now? oops.sorryy /: hehheh.seriously.get someone YOUNGER.gawd.they're FAT.sorry but i gotta tell the truth.heh.though some.are quite okeh i guess.STAY SINGLE.no wait.i'm ur bf rite? haas.LES.

stupid tian.she just changed her hp no n hp not long ago n now she's got a new one.damn her.hehheh.so ma fan.must memorize ur no again.SLACKER.

2005-08-16T08:08:00.000+08:00

NEW PHOTOS((: i lyk the ghost effect.i chooso one leh.

let's get RETARDED.

i'm seriously losing my mind.QI HAN STOP LYING!!!
grrr.u're such a BAD boy.anyhow sabo ur bro.SMACKur ass.

today i went to skool damn early can? reached skool lyk.0640? bleah.cause yanne and i took the 6.15 bus.WOOO! i've avoided TAT guy for TWO days((: raas.i'm PROUD.

dun always quarrel.yup.zhi3 zhi1 dao4 mei2 you3 tian1 chang2 di4 jiu3 .zhi2 you3 cheng2 jing1 yong1 you3.yupx.since u're with him now.TREASURE the times u have.so u wont regret next time.

tian said.if i eva smoked.she wont talk to me eva.grrrr.just cause she hates the smell.bleah.

i wanna go play para para.let's get to the DANCE floor((:

raas.MATTHEW LIM always say i'm beta in pop music.but too bad there werent exams for pop music.so he cant help me.bleah.

someone SHOOT me.laas.HI ZI JING((: i'm gonna watch softball tournament later aft skool.heh.

sheryl's crap.she said she pull the trigger and i press =.=
den i said pull the trigger is the same as press.
she said.oh.den i load the gun and u pull the trigger.
den i said ya.i pull the trigger and shoot u lar.haas.

fuktard.talkin on the fone then the damn chi cher found out.cause it was in my pencil box.damn.but he din suspect tat i was talkin.LUCKILY.he tot i was just playin arnd.fuk sia.

2005-08-15T09:53:00.000+08:00

i'm in SKOOL.yay.i opened my presents this mornin.kor kor bought me my cap( VERY VERY VERY NICE), two shirts (realli nice too), one bag (its okeh.i saw the price tag O.O it's damn ex lar), two pairs of ankle socks( the stripped one is NICE but the maroon red.errrh.can la.haas). yup. i tink tat's all. YAY.THANKYOU KORKOR((:

i brought the cap to skool today.the one kor buy de.heez.cause later i'm goin to causeway pt.with tian.den i go watch movie she go buy hp.haas. MAD us.wanted to meet her too.but she's goin out with ------------.so i dun tink she can meet up.haas.i'm gonna have dutch n malay blood soon.hurhur.and she'll get pure chinese blood i tink.raas.mei arh.we'll eat dinner together((:

just finished geog test.my stomach's lyk.ROARING.heh.but we're gonna have HE later so it makes no diff.ya.sheesh.forgot to bring my test book to sign.bleah.i'm feelin so bored.fell tat i'm pressin the keyboard as though i'm anyhow typing.ANDREA'S EYES ARE RED.she cant open her eyes.hai.

mummy went mad when she found out bout my contacts.bleah.iHATE this brand of contacts.i'm gonna change to daily focus again.grrr.this stupid brand.makes my eyes CHAO DRY n ITCHY.focus's beta.but it tears real easily.it even tore in my eyes before.heh.

i just came home.ya.finish watchin charlie and the choco factory.mum's treat.b4 i watch i went to causeway with xt just now.we went mad lar.she got influenced by me.n started fiddling with jeff's cap.heh.we bought a ny cap for him.ya.cause we wanted to buy a billabong cap for him (jeff's jealous of mine) but he refuses to wear pink.so not my prob.we bought ny cap for him instead.raas.tian n i are officially broke.serious.she spent lyk erhh.$12? i spent lyk.$20?cant rmb.everytime i go out with tian.is either i owe her money or she owes mi money.nowadays is she owe mi.but.we oso dun care.aft we go out then we forget who owe who how much.heh.

i PASSED my chinese!!! first time tis yr.and highest marks since sec1.heh.i got 79.laas.i asked tian to guess.grrr.when she said 60 and i said higher she was lyk "WAH!" eh.my chinese not tat lan keh?

raas.i'm tired.seriously.bleah.now home econ.hai.guys are just jerks.ya.BLOODY JERKS.

2005-08-14T00:08:00.000+08:00

hohoo.. im here. AGAIIN. muahahaas.

ii received darr letter from njc! and they rejected miee. ^_^ im happie. heeheex. my wish came true.. im able to remain in bp~ tom chan, here ii come~ oops. hahaas. im kinda mad. lolss.

ii just talked to my mama.. she allowed miee to transferr school. she doesnt care which school ii wanna choose. but best if ii choose bukit view. haiiss. ii cant decide which school to go. haiiss. remain in bp? but my group of friends decide to take history instead of geography next year. but ii wan to take geography.. haiiss. if that's darr case, we cant get into darr same class aniimore. haiiss~

whatevaa it ishh, IM JUST GLAD THAT II DIDNT MANAGE TO BE SHORT-LISTED FERR DARR IP! heeheex.

shu jun, good luck wors.. oshho sorrie that ii didnt manage to get in.. all darr best arhhs..
but arhhs, ii reallie dunnch wish to get into njc after o levels wors. yishun will alwaes be my first choice derrs.. shho sorrie.. =((

2005-08-13T18:59:00.000+08:00

tian mad liao lar.walau.i'm lyk damn stressed out now.

firstly.my piano's exam is on the 16th of sept.

secondly.i got into njc while xintian din get in.bleah.wat am i suppose to do???????????

hai.stressed out.having headache n stuff.i feel lyk a complete failure.FREAK ME.i cant be a good jie to her.cant b a good mei to justin.cant b a good stead to alex last time.

IDIOT me.i guess.i gotta go NJC alone.sigh.i'm bein emotionless now.

idk how to help.

i'm SHUTTIN myself in now.i REFUSE to talk to anyone.

2005-08-13T17:40:00.000+08:00

haiiss. o_O siianx.

MY LIFE ISHH GETTING MORE AND MORE SIIANX NOW.

haiiss. ii added kia dong to my msn list. hahaas. seriously, ii REGRETTED doing so. haiiss. hahaas. but im nort going to delete hiim off. because he's good at entertaining miee! muahahaas.

----------------------------------- hohoo. im off~

2005-08-12T12:21:00.000+08:00

NEW FOTOS IN THE STAR((: tian says the fotos are RIDICULOUS!

sheeesh.i just lyk found out tat we're suppose to go to for math tuition NOW.on indices.and it's lyk LUNCH break NOW.raas.i din even do anythin.so i tink best i dun go.den later is math lesson.she'll come in n scold.bleah.i can predict wad she will say.

"FU SHUJUN.why you never come and show me the graphs you drew? you cant just sit there and wait for people to call you.FU SHUJUN. you know your maths is weak.and u dun understnad anythin.when will you start to find me on your own accord?" etc etc.

bleh.pathetic.i'm gonna.cry later.sigh.idk but she and i are gettin cold.ya.idk why.but as long as she stays happy.and ya.dun tink so much.she dun seem to trust me any longer.dun tell mi how she feels.i just hope i dun fail as a jie.

i failed as a gf to alex.tat's why he is in **** now.sigh.HOPELESS me.

he says tat the both of them are okeh.he isnt in skool now? O.O i tink he's in comps or smth.but.idk.said he'll msg mi later.

KOR KOR IS IN HONG KONG now.heh.he really went.tink he left the hse for the airport at 4 plus. in the MORNIN.coming back on sunday 11.30.in the NIGHT.he beta buy me more presents to compensate mi.

MY PRECIOUS FOTOS ARE DELETED CAUSE HE REFORMATTED THE COMPUTERnot only tat la.is lyk.all my files.are gone.grrr.

i went MAD gains.was listenin to JIAYI's mp3 in one ear and mine in another.she ON until damn loud.hurhur.it sounded so FUNNY.bleah.he still hasnt msg mi.

i'm gonna fry my own dinner now.heh.ADDICTED TO MY CHILLI BEE HOON.the spicier the beta.woo hoo.ciao.

the MAD gal shall not exists on tis world anymore.

2005-08-11T21:50:00.000+08:00

i've been really tired on monday and tuesday.keep goin to orchard.yawns.DADDY bought mi JEANS.raas.he rawks can.hehheh.i bought new shirts too.yepp.GO me.iHEARTyou sis.

todays.boring.my eyes are lyk SO ITCHY.sheesh.i'm gonna change bk to FOCUS.aft i finish usin tis brand of contacts.though FOCUS tears easily.but it's more comfortable.ya.

stupid art cher.first poke mi at the back.den go hit my head.idiot.

had guides.i went MAD.took 67.heh.was tinkin of goin to cck den take another bus go home.MAD me.jerome said i was mad too.bleah.he's FAKE.crap.

MARCUS AND WEILONG, YOU BOTH GOTTA WAKE UP!! it's time to let go.no use holding on.yea.

ong and yong n mi are SISTERS.raas.we were HOLDIN hands.and chattin lots.heh.yongie and i were holding hands during debrief.MAD me.we're not les.we're SISTERS(:
yuh.jies.i reali wish i noe where is he so i can visit him.bleahs.i still LOVEYOU JIES.and i wan my letters.raas.i wanna talk to you to conference one nite.yupp.

hai.i met justin tis evenin.idk wad to say to him.i tink i just said one sentence to him.ya.yongteck was there too.i was lyk.talkin to yt n not to justin.idk why.and i just.pick up my bag to leave.justin seemed rather hurt.he stopped me.and wanted a hug.but i just shook my head and walked off.i'm sorry kor.

MY REAL BRO.is goin to hk tmr mornin.heh.he's suppose to go msia.but cause of haze.den he suddenly book tickets to HONG KONG.dots.i re-wrote my list of things i wan him to buy.told him tat i will return him the money when he comes bk.raaas.he's only comin bk on sunday nite.

i feel real sad.idk why.ya.mayb tinkin too much aint a good ting.i'm reali STUPID i guess.
EVERYBODY.i'm an idiot.just ignore mi.and give up.everything's all so FAKE.

fuk.

2005-08-09T21:13:00.000+08:00

sigh.idk wad to write now can? it's lyk aft seein the.dragon dance in the ndp parade, my whole mood SINKS to the bottom of the earth.he used or rather still is in lion n dragon dance troupe.ya.idk how he is now.lots of ppl say he's lying.but why shld he lie? he would have told me straight.i noe he will.idk.i'm just worried.if one yr later, i find out tat he is lying.well i guess i wont forgive him.

ytd basically aft skool i went to chi high first then to orchard.raas.to hit choco and to lyk.be a GOOD sister.dots.i actually saw choco ytd mornin.n he kinda just.WALKED AWAY.hurhur.i hit him with my shoe bag.lucky him.was just my slippers inside.and a NEW water bottle.i'm mad.puttin a water bottle with my slippers.haas.choco just ps me and walked away.damn.i felt so HURT.i just walked off too.givin the excuse to qihan tat i gtg orchard.

so many buses were all so crowded.i just stood there.not intendin to rush up the bus or anythin.cause it is always full.174 and 171.raas.in the end i gave up waitin n just got on.heh.

den ya.i met si botak.and we waited for little eagle.lil eagle said zy couldnt be found.he's gone missing.nvm bout tat.den we went to eat at cine.yup.saw joanne.with her friens.later lil eagle go play land when si botak n i went to FETCH sai from the mrt station.he actuali went up the WRONG escalator.sheesh.den left mi and sai.cause si botak go bk to skool.i was too tired to walk another time to fetch kd so i just sat there with sai to wait.and kd's worse den sai.he got on the CORRECT escalator but gave mi the wrong info.idiot.hmm.we just played at arcades.walk about.and talk.

anyways i met my lil sista.at orchard mrt station.a.she's GOD DAMN CHIO.seriously.i felt so.UGLY.standin with her.ya.her frien's real chio too.raas.she was almost lyk justin.both of them always spread out their hands for a hug.ya.so i hugged her.and aft tat.she was lyk.sayin i'm tall.well i dun wanna b tall.kinda sucks.you're seriously STUNNIN.i'm lyk fallin in love with you.gawd.tat sounded les.raas.u shld b ashamed to have a jie lyk me.hai.

then we went lot1.saw shao yu, carlos, yong chye and darius.DARIUS GREW TALLER.hurhur.he just lyk.SHOT UP.grrr.same height at as mi now.aft tat.we went to play bb.and xt just arrived.yawns.idk.

2005-08-08T22:28:00.000+08:00

haiiss. im reallie mad lerhs. ii dunnch know what im typing and alwaes typing der wrong word. arrghs. haiiss. ii shouldnt have gone to meet euu all todae norhs. waste my time derhs. arrghs. haiiss. and my basketball skills ishh so damn lousy norhs. haiiss. must train more liao. ask who out nehs. hahaas. sure wont be euu, fu shu jun derhs =X oops. hahaas.

and der photos are so damn stoopid larhs. so sucky derhs. they SUCKS! arrghs..

haiiss. euu dunnch keep saying miee and jeffrey lehs. later my bf angry wor. =X lolss. jeffrey will oshho be beri unhappie derhs.. hahaas. later euu scare der girl he likes away arhs. =X then jeffrey will be sad sad. we see liao oshho nort happie marhs. so euu are indirectli hurting yourself. muahahaas.

ii admit that im mad lorhs. ii dunnch know what's wrong with miee. haiiss.

------------------ * xintian disappearing *

2005-08-08T20:44:00.000+08:00

i havent posted for quite long already.basically cause i'm bz.yea.i PROMISED james tan i will finish my chi hw.so i gotta keep it.raas.ytd i finished 3 compos and my chi SIA.gawd.i still owe a compo of 800 words.raaa.DYIN cause of CHI.

hmm.njc interview.damn crap la.
FIRST.they called the wrong person and was looking at the wrong profile all the time.grrr.
SECOND.they laughed when i told them i missed raffles by i point.
THIRD.my cheeks were sore when i stepped out of the room.cause i had to keep smiling.
LASTLY.they asked so many questions and water wasnt provided.

fine lar.i guess the whole thing went pretty well.raas.they keep asking for examples to wad i said.den i on the spot just crap some answers lor.hai.
den aft tat i went for my piano class and aft tat i went to cut my hair.gawd.tt guy go cut my fringe's till its lyk SO SHORT.idiot seh.

den sunday i din go out.i tink.cant rmb.idc anyways.aiya.wad hpn today i tink i'll write in tmr's post.mum's there naggin again.bout me usin the com.raas.i'll type tmr.

2005-08-06T17:01:00.000+08:00

hmms.. went to njc this morning. haiiss. thought they will be asking many questions about njc. but it's nort actually. still gort ask questions about njc larhs, but nort much derhs. haiiss.

ii DIDNT DO WELL AT ALL. shho disappointed. haiiss. shho scary inside norhs. all derh teachers there face black black derhs. haiiss. then onlee two teachers talking. then derh teacher who talked most ishh shho damn shuai norhs. almost faint @_@ lolss.

who cares whether ii did well anorts. muahahaas. ii DUNNCH WANT TO GET INTO NJC ANIMORE! muahahaas. njc sucks! muahahaas. onlee derh seniors there rocks! muahahaas. njc ishh so damn biased! how come onlee basketball bois can go ferr competition derhs? what about girls? what are they suppose to do then? idiots.. then what ferr those girls join basketball? they train ferr what? *ohh my gosh*

there's one senior quite good wor..hahaas. quite cute too. hahaas. she said they have to run 4km during pe norhs. kaos. miee 2.4km already have problem liao, how to cope with 4km then? *ohh my gosh*

*fainting*

haiiss. njc cannot make it lerhs.. now my target ishh yjc! muahahaas. or ani jc which have basketball as cca ferr girls derhs. muahahaas. NO BASKETBALL, NO TALK!

2005-08-03T18:16:00.000+08:00

hurhur.tian is at MY house now.raaas.we're GOIN MAD.dots.we ate LOTS of stuff can? wad else to say arhh? i tell u hor.my **** tcher is lyk.idk.wad to say.raas.i'm so MAD.talking crap to natee.hmmm.jerome and i aint talking to each other anymores.cause i told him.i was giving up on everythin n everyone.asked him to ignore mi and he REALLY did.grrr.erhh.Xin Tian's turn.

.........................................( xin tian is pausing and thinkin on what to type.grrr. )

diao~ ii still cant think of anything to write. muahahaas. *vanished into thin air*

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2005-08-02T22:16:00.000+08:00

muahahaas. euu knew ii keep fergetting and euu actually didnt remind miee?! arrghs. hahaas. siianx. ii need someone to remind miee every now and then euu know? lolss. but euu dunnch need to think who issit. ii have someone in mind lerhs. JING KAI?! o_O lolss. but he's useless lorhs! he didnt even reply my message! arrghs! idiot jing kai. hmmph.

haiiss. by the way, ii osho ask cheltton along to orchard lerhs. but he nort sure if he's free. siianx. sho, ii have asked jing kai and cheltton..?! lolss. yeahs..hahaas. sho if both of them are nort going, ii osho dunnch wanna go liao. seriously norhs. hahaas.

NO JING KAI, NO GO! NO CHELTTON, NO TALK.

lolss. they go, ii go. they nebber go, ii osho nort going. okiees..settle lerhs. muahahaas.

and tell euu something lorhs. my pe teacher hit my head todae norhs. arrghs. ii hate hiim ferr hitting my head. but ii "hate" him ferr quarrelling with miee! yippee~ lolss.

2005-08-02T07:49:00.000+08:00

laaas.i'm in the com lab now.suppose to do filmin now.hurhur.YESTERDAY i got my NJC timing for the interview.raas.it's at 2.10pm in the AFTERNOON.so late. tian and i are always complainin tat all the tests are ALWAYS so early.hurhur.now its so late.tian haben get her letter yet.

to my lg: i promise i will wait.no matter wad happens.i will wait for you to call.one yr passes veri quickly.i just hope you take care in there.i pray for you everynight.i will wait for you to come out.i PROMISE.i wont leave u.and now i will fulfil the promise i made to you.i will study hard.i wont let you down.

to jerome:raas.idk wad to say.at least you were honest.we will get another chance soon ya? haas.mwah.gal gal love boi boi O.O

to denise: i'm always here yea? although i may not reply at times.but that doesnt mean idc.i still love you mei.hugs.i PROMISEyou i will keep it((:

to justin:CATCH up on YOUR work keh? jiayou.and take care.whereva you are now.dots.you din give me a GOODBYE HUG.grrr.i'm gonna SMACK your head and ARREST you when you come back.that will be your THIRD arrest mister.

wad hpn ytd? raas.i knew my lg got into ****.it was early in the mornin la.i nearly cried after reading the msg.his jie send me one.idk.i just wish i can go visit him.ONE YEAR.i will wait.raas.

tian arh.YOU FORGOT TO CALL ME AT 8.30pm!!grrr.you're foreva forgettin.honestly.dun you forget that you are comin to my house tmr hor.meet at interchange keh? den we go buy lunch and go my hse eat.hurhur.i feel lyk playing arcade.how?

ytd was really sucky.bleah.hate it.today's WORSE.got chinese test.weeee.i'm gonna FLUNK it agains.hai.my chinese simply sucks can?yawns.i'll follow wad lynn told me to do.give myself a HUG((: heee.mwah to everyone.

2005-07-31T17:04:00.000+08:00

fu shu jun ar..ii jus din come n post ferr abt 1 week n euu created so many probs ar. haiix. mus keep urself in a happie mood every single sec, min, hr n dae euu noe. hahaas. den euu wun b doin such stuffs le. okiees? dunnch tink so much. --------

many ppl do care ferr euu k? ur family..
ii osho believe euu hab many god-siblings who are willing to b dere ferr euu rite?
wad abt ur fwens? many do care ferr euu..wei yu? jeff? michelle? n of cos, miee??

okiees..so many ppl care ferr euu lor. so dunnch do such thing le can?

2005-07-30T14:12:00.000+08:00

it's RAINING.and i wanted to go running can? sheesh.i just had my sci tuition.i'm lyk so sleepy today and couldnt keep awake during tuition.laas.i'm pissed i cant go running.yx's a GOOD LIAR.tat's wad he claims.

i tell you.my whole family is getting weirder.ytd my mum scolded me first for using too much computer and keep scolding me.then when i go back to my room and lie on my bed, she came in and started talkin to me nicely about stuff.fuk.irritating!

den my kor came in and chase my mum out.he asked whether i have anything to tell him.i said no.den he said that he know's what i've been doing.then i was lyk' you beta tell me what you know before i throw the tissue box at you.' but he took away the tissue box first so i took the remot control on my bed and threaten to throw that at him.he was saying it saw smth while i was d/l songs into my mp3 earlier on.lyk wad did i do? den he said ropes dun cut lyk tat.grrr.stupid.he said" you shld noe that daddy and i were scouts b4 and we know that rope cuts dun look lyk this."
then he made me promises and hook pinkies not to do tat again.raaas.AND HE TOOK AWAY MY PENKNIFE!

mummy took me to swensens to eat and watch fantastic4 later at nite.i tell you.everybody's acting weird.

2005-07-29T18:03:00.000+08:00

haaas.ANOTHER DAY.daddy saw the cuts on my hands ytd.he asked what hpn. then i said i got cut by the ropes during guides.then he was lyk sayin ropes dun cut until lyk tat.bleah.he knows i've been cutting myself.raaa.today when i left the house, he was lyk standing bhind me and staring at me.gawd.he NEVER did tat b4.never in TWO yrs.cause at tat time he will normally be sleeping.ROARS.wad's hpn-in?

HIS hp got confiscated.heh.skool so strict.haas.i only lyk tat monkey tcher in skool for one ting-HANDPHONE.
cause he dont care even when i msg right infront of him.and during his lessons i can also just make fone calls.raaa.idc.skools shldnt have rules.we shld be allowed to dye our hair and stuff.i'll dye PINK((: either tat or BLUE.raaa.michelle and i were suppose to dye pink together.den if tcher catch us, we just cut hair lor.but her skool SLACK lar.more freedom then in MY skool.sucky.

i've finished the melody for my third song-ONCE MORE.
spent half an hour on the bed tryin to think of the lyrics.and i'm done.
ya.just a lil bit changes to the chorus and it's done.
den i'll be on to my next song.

ONCE MORE
If time could be turned back
I would give up anything
Just to fell your love again
And the care you gave me last time

I know it won't come true
But as long as you're my friend
I'll stay strong and happy cause
'Lest I can hear and talk to you
Once More

Chorus:
Only pleasant memories
Will be kept deep in my heart
To see you smile happily
And to hear your laughter again

Now that we're friends again
I'll treasure every moment
That we spent together, so that
I'll not look back full with regrets

Sometimes I really hope
That you'll return to my side
It is really hard to cope
And i wish that all will happen
Once More

-=Chorus=-

raaaa.ah ma went to SHOW my blog on the WHOLE SCREEN((: hurhur.i'm DYING.we were lyk dancing in the quadrangle BARE-FOOTED at TWO IN THE AFTNOON.gawd.we're mad.i tink we were dancing AND JUMPING.cause it's just so hot.bleah.

i didnt bring my keys today.and mummy was NOT at home.raa.michelle also dunno go where.haas.in the end i ended up on jeffery's house.with him sneakily TAKING my mp3 from my bag.haas.idc.i was using his comp and disturbing his friens.raaa.he was lying on his bed listenin to my mp3 so i call yx to disturb him.grrr.he rejected my call.damn him.weee.stupid jeff boi boi.haaa.JUMP MORE((: u're still a small boi boi to me.

yawns.i cooked my own lunck.fried chilli beehoon agains.raaa.justin's at east coast park doin some stuff.or else i'll be goin with him loitering about.instead of goin to jeff's house and have him STEALING my stuff.haas.kiddin.

i'm SO FULL now.sleepy.

now.goodnight((:

2005-07-28T07:08:00.000+08:00

hmmm.it's EARLY MORNIN.denise and him.are okeh now.u must hang in there and dun let go.actually the both of you are gettin along real well.only tat you keep worrying too much and tinkin too much.sometimes its not good to let your emotions overcome you.tc sis((:

i dun tink i am gonna talk to him le.cause it's lyk.idk.i'm having mixed feelings about him.i wish i could turn time back.then all these things wouldnt have happened.and i wont be who i am now.i tink of him and memories just come flowing back.it wont stop at all.i recall those memories till tears will just.flow.idc.i'm goin runnin today.wanna run away all my troubles.at nite i cry.but in the day.i'll just keep doin sports.to distract myself.i just love him still.but cant let him now.hmmm.mayb wad ppl say is rite.they always say that when you see the person you love not knowing that you love him or he loves another gal, it is the most painful part.i guess.it's true.it hurts me.seeing him with her.but.i guess.some things are just meant to be this way.gawd.i'm gonna cry.just turned on the radio louder.so that it kinda stop me from tinking properly.

i'm feelin real sad.was tinkin bout wad jerome said to me last time. he called mi a.hypocrite.hmm.idk wad to tell him.as in.he says he cares but he doesnt.yes he cares for my well bein.but he doesnt care for my emotions.i guess.idk.it's over between us.we arent friens anymore too.he wont talk to me.i really have lots of tings to tell him.but it's over.i wasnt even tinkin properly last nite.just took the penknife and made another slash.idc.i'm completely LOST.and sad.

it goes according to my piano song.the lyrics are these:

ALONE WITH NOBODY
I'm alone
Walking through this world of darkness
No one to keep me company
At all
No one to support me if I fall down

I gave up
On all happiness ant trust
Feeling so afraid and lonely
Always
I just need someone to care and love me now.

Chorus:
Now I'm alone with nobody to
Guide me through and
Hold my hands tight
With all the fears
I have to face
I just give up
And be alone
With nobody here

Nobody
Actually cares or loves me
Everyone else has somebody
But me
I'm shunned away and left alone

When you left
You broke all your promises
Leaving me here with all your lies
Alone
You left me when I neede you the most

-=Chorus=-

it's really lyk the lyrics of this song.i'm really alone with nobody to care for me.to love me.everyone else tat i know.has somebody.except me.but wad can i do about it? it's just fate i guess.life is unfair.yes.but we cant change it.cause some tings just forbid you to go forward.idk.i give up.on myself.not on my studies.but my charcacter.my cheerfulness.my smile.all.i give up.

it's just no use.i'm scared.but there's nobody there to hold me tight and comfort me.
it's all...

GONE.Forever..there are only.the sweet memories that can comfort me now.i guess.i'm really scared.but nobody cares.

2005-07-27T10:38:00.000+08:00

haaas.now in skool.one and a half hour break.before i go for dance.yawnn.Jerome saw my hand ytd.he scolded me.said he was disappointed in me or smth.sad lar.la la.but idc.he told me he felt that i was a hypocrite.idk whether we're still friends now.hurhurO.O.sorry jerome((:

i finished composing my piano song and my guitar song last nite.did the final touchups.yups.the piano song is "Alone With Nobody" it's completed((: the guitar song is "Promises" kinda bit unfinished.but idc.i never learn till grade2 yet can? i'm lyk.usin piano to compose the song for guitar.i wanna learn guitar again.mummy says only aft exams.sniff.and i beta pass my PIANO.or else she's not let me learn anythin.hmm.i startin on the next piano song "Once More" once i finish finding the chords, i'll go on to the notes then finally the lyrics.yepp.teddy bear weijie says i shld record it.my voice SUCKS can.haaa.nx tm i let teddy bear sing and he record himself.hurhur O.O

erhh.he's having pe now.DOUBLEpe.grrr.tat's so unfair can? my skool only lyk have 1hr of pe each week.SAD.and he makes me feel short.178.5cm.gawd.-looks up.tat's so tall.i feel SO SHORT.first choco(172cm) made mi feel short.den zhuzhu(178cm in tink).den now him.i ought to jump more.haaas.no thanks.i'm tall enuff le.haas.

i'm so sleepy.gonna present my math SIA later.so scared.but.since i've decided not to let anythin affect my mood den i'm not scared of her.lyk wad jiayi says.she doesnt have the right to scold you for not knowin how to solve any math probs.i tink ycy got ap.ATTITUDE PROBLEM.is lyk.why cant she teach individually?idk.mayb i sorta misunderstood her or smth.MATH SIA((:

i'm startin to be in the study mood now.yups.la la.iLOVEstudyin.wow.i nv knew i would eva say tis sentence.i guess.i wont spend so much time on other tings.just concentrate on studying now.and my marks beta improve now lor.weee.

STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY((:

tian must study too keh? dun tink so much about ur LOVE.haaas.nor ur pe tcher.seriously.one of these days i'm gonna wear ur skool u n go to ur skool.see how he looks lyk.wonder why you're crazy over him.hurhur.
i'm dyin.ta-da.haaas.

everybody must take care.mei arh.heLOVESyou.n you noe tat youLOVEhim too.if tis is the case.den dun eva give up keh? you two have gone through so much.so jiayou and continue(: i'm here always.dun feel down keh?SMILE((:

2005-07-26T11:07:00.000+08:00

ahh.here's the picture of my hand.with all the cuts i made.idk why i cut.it hurts but not as badly as how my heart hurts i guess.hurhur.i cut on my leg too.cause it's gettin to obvious on my hands.haaa.i'm having trouble hiding the cuts on my hands lar.kyna's lyk sayin i'm MAD.heee.tis week's sabbaticals((:

erhh.i started talking to him.weee.it's lyk so FUN talking to him.ya.he's SICK.TAKE CARE O.O
hohoho.i'm seriously suffering from lack of sleep.not that i not enough time to sleep but it's that i cant sleep at all.hurhur.couldnt sleep last nite again.so i woke up and lyk started composing another song.but this time was for my guitar.ytd i finished composing the song "Alone with nobody" for my piano.tink just a lil more changes and shld be done.for my guitar.i'm done with it too.not really good though.wad do you expect from mi in just 10mins? a GRAND CONCERT? haaa.the song's name is "PROMISES". later i go home i'm gonna plan a new tune for my piano.and compose a new song.cant do that for my guitar cause i'm still not good in it yet.

i'm sleepy can.my com's goin mad.all bcause of my kor la.dunno d/l tis n d/l tat.until so slow.i wanna go ARCADE.gawd.the best arcade's are at lot 1 and cine.there used to be one in plaza sing too.cause they give SIX songs.but now there's no more para para machine there already.
sian lar.

EVERYBODY'S BORED.on some punk music and dance or smth.gawd.i die without dancing for one day.haaas.YAWN.Zzzz.

cutting yourself.helps.in relieving how you feel.just take the penknife.and SLASH.fun.and nice patterns((:
i'm always HERE for YOU.i PROMISE((:

2005-07-25T11:57:00.000+08:00

muahahahas. im so happie nowadays can. lols. hohos. ii guess happiness ish approachin miee? lols. ii noe ii beri shameless. wahhahahas. but ii knew im more fortunate den euu. muahahhaaas.

siianx. now havin computer enrichment. haiix. we get to do our own stuffs but ii actuali hab no idea wad to do!! my mind ish sot. hahaas.

muahhahas. ii guess ii can get to enjoy myself after dis week lerhs, although nx week ish common test week. hahaas.

2005-07-24T10:31:00.000+08:00

haaaa.poor you lor.i know why it's so boring.cause dun have me wad.got me den sure veri fun lerr.hurhur.i saw lyk so many dazhong ppl ytd lar.when goin for piano.first i saw huixin and huifang.you know huixin.the 6/2 prefect de. she always come to our class for chi lesson.i couldnt recognise her lor.cause she not wearin spects and she got long hair now.den i recognise her sis.i stand down there tryin to rmb who she was la.dots.den i saw jiaming.gawd.why is he bcomin more n more shuai everytime i see him? and i also saw sebes.stupid sebes la.say dunno wad i'll kill him or smth.idiot guy.well he kept coughin the whole bus journey and i kept laughin at him.well serve him rite.heee.

today.is gonna be so boring.sheesh.i forgot to buy contacts ytd.now only left one pair.i beta remind myself to buy tmr.or else i'm GONER.i'm broke.oh so broke.

jerome's giving up.i can tell.idk.if he gives up.let it be then.i'm sorry.i told you it was no use.you dun wanna listen.well just give up of you wan to.

you know.i kinda made a vow ytd.a vow of silence.smth lyk.i wont talk to anyone about how i feel n stuff anymore.i'll just keep them to myself.dun wanna talk more than necessary.gosh.tat'll be the opp of my whole character.but i guess.i wanna change.change for the beta of the worst.idk.even if i go bad to bad co.den okeh.i dun mind.bein bad is NOT a bad ting.serious.

ALEX.my zhu lg.reply me lar.dun ignore me.gawd.i'm lyk damn worried bout you keh.i know you still smoke, drink,chong.dunno if you still in GHK.i tink u still are.but reply me.or call me lar.i really still CARE for you.gosh.you dun break your promise you made to me k?you cant leave your piggy lp alone can?

2005-07-24T02:10:00.000+08:00

muahahahs. pls lorhs, if ii noe dat e ndp preview wud b dat borin, ii wud rather gib euu e ticket norhs. its so damn boring narhs. idiot! so sleepy..

haiix. onlee e aeroplane, parachuters n fireworks parts are nice norhs. others ish like so damn borin. ii hate it! e one we watched in p5 ish even beta norhs. kns derhs.

n cy's skool gort performed nehs. came out ferr 8 mins. but ii dunnch noe whether she gort performed anorts. e performance by her skool ish so damn childish larhs =x ii tink ii saw fazzel sia. if my eyes no prob den confirm ish him norhs. lols.

*yawn* im so sleepy. haiix. ii haben do my hwk wor. haiix. tmr dunnch noe wad time go home. omg. now im at my ah ma's hse. HAIIX.

n the preview ish so damn toopid larhs. when dey welcum mr nathan, lee hsien long n lee kuan yew, everyone laughed larhs. but ii dunnch noe wad's goin on lorhs. cos im nort watchin at all. hahas. dose VIPs din come at all norhs. someone jus acted as dem onlee. so damn funnie larhs. dat fake mr nathan ish so damn skinny n black lorhs =x hahas. e two mr lee are so damn young sia. lols. no white hair derhs. lols.

dat adrian pang osho so damn sissy lorhs. we noticed dat he likes to shake his butt when he's walkin norhs. funnie larhs. n dat sharon au hor, so damn noisy derhs. likes to shout so much. hahas. gurmit singh osho damn lame norhs. feel like hammerin his head sia. lols.

2005-07-23T18:43:00.000+08:00

I JUST UPLOADED NEW PHOTOS.SO GO CLICK ON THE STAR STAR((:

heez.i might well just help Xintian post today.since we were out together for almost the whole morning.lemme see.i tink Xintian by now finish goin to see her cousin's baby and now at NDP preview ba.haaa.it's RAININ.suay la you((: her cousin's baby full month le.and i bet she's gonna say she saw derrick and he's SO CUTE.dots.

this mornin, we went to NJC together.cause both of us got shortlisted for the next round.ya.stupid lar.i was lyk waitin for her for 15mins or so before she turned up.and we lyk missed 6 buses by that time already.YOU'RE SLOW.haaa.then we walked into nj.(duh la)

we went into the LT which was lyk damn freezing COLD.haaa.stupid tian.our friendship band is lyk stuck on to our legs.DEAD KNOT.and then today she say that the band BROKE.hurhur.we're gonna buy another one when we have the time to.tian was sitting bside mi during the test.ya.she's SLOW again.gosh.i finished the paper and xintian was lyk still man man zuo.i was sitting down there.WAITING.grrr.FINALLY she finished.that was lyk 20mins aft i finish i guess.den we LEFT.heee((:

we went to lot1.yups.i played arcade.GAWD.i didnt know my para para improved so much.i was so SURPRISED i could go till such a hard level.haaa.HuiWen's gonna be PROUD of me O.O

we took fotos and neos too.we're goin MAD.serious.stupid tian.never bring mi to watch ndp.grrr.

2005-07-22T09:59:00.000+08:00

i'm gonna faint.gosh.10more mins and i gonna present my math SIA le.i'm dyin can.heee.cause i did individual work.den my math tcher is lyk the damn scary type lar.i'm gonna die.my hands are lyk ultra cold now.sheesh.someone save mi!

sheesh.in the end no need to present lar.only presenting on monday.gosh.i HATE YCY.i nv really hated her but i tink now i really hate her.she was lyk calling me using my FULL name lar.wad's her prob? my name nicer than her name den she jealous ah? idiot.she keeps tinking that i nv go to skool because i was having comps lar.idiot tcher.she FAILS her math.she was sayin " you go for comps for 4 out of 5days and you're not in class." "when u're in class, you're not known. And when you are not in class you're also not known." "you never come to find mi on your own accord about stuff you have missed.etc.etc."

fuk.

firstly.i DID NOT go for comps bloody hell.i was sick lar.if i could predict tat i will be sick then i would have told her last week that i will be missing lessons.

secondly.she FAILED her math.i came to skool for THREE days can? on monday, yesterday and today.fuk.my prob i sick meh?

thirdly.i DID go and find her for lessons on MY OWN ACCORD.fuk.it was she who say she dun wanna teach two ppl.she wans to teach as a grp.fuk lar.CONTRADICTIN her ownself.fine that she re-scheduled to tuesday. but i was sick can? FEVER. she wanna burn my brain then she happy isit? she's the most inhumane person i've eva seen.

calling mi by my full name.i HATE people who does tat.wonder what's gonna hpn the next lesson if i say. GOOD MORNING YOU SHITTY YEO CHENG YONG! idiot.

it's gonna b chinese soon.feel lyk.dying.later got to go find tat YCY to ask if i can haf extra lessons with her every mon and fri.fuk.if i dunask she'll be ANNOUNCING to everyone saying: FU SHUJUN! i always said that if you have any problems you must come and see me. CRAP la.i got my own brother to teach me.do i need an OUTSIDER lyk you to teach me?

thanks gao for always tinkin of me and caring for me. thanks yongie for telling me to get well and tat i'm greatly missed((:

THANK.YOU.YEO.CHENG.YONG.FOR.MAKING.MY.SECONDARY.TWO.MATH.LIFE.A.MISERABLE.ONE.

2005-07-22T09:12:00.000+08:00

muahahahs. looks like ii hab posted more den euu liao hor. lols. now in skool again. siianx. havin toopid music lesson n ii dunnch even noe how to play simple songs lorhs. lols. so wad ferr ii come ferr music lesson? muahahah. jus to play com. hohos.

damn it..teacher ish walkin ard. tmd. idiot! wahahahs.

uh oh.. she's rite in front of miee now. but she din realise im nort playin on e piano keyboard but typin on com keyboard. muahahhas. so toopid. lols.

muahahahs. now she's gone. gone fereva~ muahahahs. im mad. lols.

2005-07-21T16:47:00.000+08:00

gawd.i'm DYIN here.sheesh.actually today suppose to be on MC.but i still go skool.i veri guai rite? heez.i feel so WEAK.in skool i was lyk dragging myself to go everywhere.and i practically DIED during mornin assembly.it was so damn FREEZING COLD.i had my jacket but it wasnt a SHOOL-BASED jacket.so not allowed to even wear it to skool.but do i look like i care? -no.

sheesh.FIRST PERIOD.chinese and i'm gonna die.didnt do anythin.next was erm.wad arh.erhh.gee.

i'm having memory loss.

ahhh.PE.i was already so sick and weak i cant write properly.do you tink i can hold a badminton racket? nope.

i'm dying.denise arhh.he LOVES you k.he LOVES you more than anythin.mark my words.dun eva give up.he's just a baby who needs PAMPERING.gosh.he will change ya? but no matter whud.dun give up.and your poems.are quite okeh.only a few errors here and there.yup.you two will last.trust mi.and i'm always here for you.by your side keh?iLOVEyou too((: tc.

2005-07-21T09:27:00.000+08:00

muahahhaas. now in skool again wor. siianx. no website to go so jus come n post norhs. haiix.

muahahhas. so happie. lols. sundae goin out? muahahaas. im askin myself dat qns. lols. but ii dunnch feel like goin out lehs. haiix. lols.

dis com looks so cool sia. bcos e words are so damn small. lols.

haiix. siianx. he din reply my msg! haiix. muahahhass. im mad. im miss jk =X lols. im jus kiddin. lols.